Bumblescratch

In London, during the Great Plague of 1665, a plague rat named Melbourne Bumblescratch tells stories to (and occasionally steals from) the other rats passing by. Despised for this, Melbourne spends a great deal of his time dodging those whom he has wronged; including his long suffering fiancée, Bethesda; and Socrates who is the King of the Pack Rats. In the first scene, Melbourne inadvertently pickpockets a blue and white jewel from Socrates, thinking that all he was taking was a mere morsel of cheese (London In The Plague) but by the time he realizes what he's stolen, and from whom he's stolen it, it's too late. As he makes his escape, Melbourne meets a juvenile, homeless rat named Perry who takes an instant liking to the storyteller and refuses to leave Melbourne's side (Thank You Sir). The others find and surround Melbourne and Perry when, like a magician, Melbourne sprinkles some "Jiggery Pokery" (gunpowder) on the ground and the twosome disappear into the smoke of the explosion. Just then Bethesda returns, vowing to make Melbourne pay for his treachery (Melbourne Bumblescratch). Contrasting Bethesda's tirade, Melbourne expresses his own, more laid back approach to life (and connubial fidelity) in (At Least A Rat ‘As Got An Excuse).

Meanwhile, Socrates' oafish henchmen, Fats and Charmer, have caught up to Melbourne, following him and Perry into the Cock Lane Rat Pub only to lose the duo once again. Later on, they try to justify their incompetence to Socrates who will hear none of it (Socrates’ Scorn). By the end of the night, Melbourne reluctantly offers Perry (who is still in tow) a place to stay for the night (Close Scrape Today). As Melbourne falls asleep, he has nightmares of being tortured by Socrates when suddenly he is awoken by his recurring hallucination: Hookbeard, the amnesiac ghost of a legendary rat pirate (Hookbeard's Theme). Melbourne explains to the audience that the reason for his hallucinations is because of his long-ago consumption of tainted cheese (Don't Eat Bad Cheese!). He explains that the Bad Cheese made him just a little crazy, but that the insanity is manageable. Hookbeard chastises Melbourne for stealing Socrates's jewel, insisting Melbourne give it back for his own good. Melbourne lies to Hookbeard telling him that he can't give back the jewel, "much as he'd like" due to the jewel being lost. The justifiably skeptical ghost takes pity on Melbourne, promising to protect him should his location be discovered by the Socrates (Hookbeard's Rebuke).

Waking from his hallucination, mid-chase, Melbourne realizes that he and Perry are fleeing from Socrates and his minions at that very minute! They escape into a church. Perry becomes mesmerized by the grand architecture and colored light produced by the stained glass. Jaded Melbourne is unimpressed. (Can You Hear The Music?). Just then Perry and Melbourne are kidnapped by a dangerous gang of troglodytic rats. (Storyteller) It turns out that because they live underground, the Underdweller rats love to hear stories about "the above world". Egged on by Perry, Melbourne tells them the most gruesome tale he knows: The saga of (The Widow MacGregor) - a destitute woman of ill-repute whose dead carcass was devoured by a single, mysterious rat over a long, cold winter. The Underdwellers delight in Melbourne's revolting tale so much that they don't notice when he and Perry suddenly vanish - Melbourne once again using his stolen gunpowder to provide cover for their escape (Jiggery Pokery).

Back at Melbourne's nest, which is concealed in the thatching of Royal Baker Thomas Farynor's home and bakery, Perry encounters the baker's daughter, who thinks Perry is cute and takes him as her pet (What Is This That I See). Perry is instantly smitten (Adorable Me!). Melbourne disapproves of the relationship, insisting Perry break it off. Perry refuses. (Unhand Me!). He struggles with his new found feelings for Thamesa (That's Something) coming to the conclusion that Melbourne is the one with the problem, not him. Perry declares that Melbourne "Is an unfaithful creature." Astonished this declaration, Melbourne insists that he's "the most faithful creature in all of London". Just as him makes his declaration, he is confronted by a number of former lovers including Bethesda (Melbourne Bumblescratch - Reprise) whose complaints show the love rat in a very different light. Suddenly surrounded, Melbourne grabs onto the leg of a raven who flies off with him. Mid-air he realizes he'll either be killed by being dropped or by being eaten alive by the bird once they've landed. In desperation, Melbourne prays to God, something he's not done before. Miraculously, a swarm of albino bats scares off the raven and Melbourne's life is spared. Humbly Melbourne sings (The Music of the Spheres).

Melbourne seeks out Perry who, in the interim, had returned to Thamesa's home (And One Day/We’ve Got To Get Out of This Place!) and subsequently suffered a mortal wound by the hand of Thamesa's father, Thomas Farynor. Finding Perry near death, Melbourne vows to protect Thamesa from “the wickedness of the world” (Dual Epiphany). Heartbroken, Melbourne tucks the diamond he'd stolen from Socrates into Perry's lifeless palm vowing to live a more noble life in honor him (My Place In the Sun).

Melbourne's storytelling prowess proves useful in gaining followers (All Fallen Angels) and Bethesda is brushed to the side. Socrates too, has lost most of his pack's loyalty to Melbourne's new message of hope. Socrates prepares a trap for Melbourne that he believes will bear the storyteller out as a fraud (Socrates’ Ploy). Squabbler and Rufus bring Melbourne the news that Thamesa is about to die, a victim of the plague (News of Thamesa's Imminent Demise). In an effort to at least partially fulfill Perry's dying wish, that he "protect Thamesa from the wickedness of this world, Melbourne visits the sick girl and suddenly sees beyond her disfigured appearance, discovering the inner beauty which Perry saw easily. He renews his pledge to protect her, even in death (Beautiful Now). Not wanting to endanger his young followers, Melbourne once again conjures up Hookbeard, beckoning his help. Together they fend off would be scavenger rats at the Churchyard of St. Ghastly Grim. Having done a noble deed, Hookbeard suddenly regains his memory and ascends to the next world (Hookbeard’s Theme (Reprise Part 1)/Let Us Pass/Hookbeard's Theme (Reprise Part 2).

Without Hookbeard or Perry, Melbourne acknowledges that he can't live in the past or dream about the future, but must focus on "the now" (The Present Tense). But all alone, he quickly falls into Socrates’ tainted cheese trap (Ain’t That Just the Whiff?). He takes the bait and eats the tainted cheese and is shortly thereafter overwhelmed by a guilt spawned hallucination (Bumblescratch Nightmare). His worst fears manifest, Melbourne must now face the Widow MacGregor's ghoulish spirit and admit culpability for his crimes against her. Amazingly, when he faces her and admits his regret, Melbourne discovers that the Widow holds no grudge against him, indeed she is grateful to him (Long Long Road). However, as Melbourne's delirium subsides, and Socrates shows his once zealous minions the defiled state in which Melbourne has stooped. Squabbler and the others become disillusioned with Melbourne but instead of returning to Socrates' fold, they decide to go leaderless. Anarchy ensues (We Will Live To Be Free). Without any allies left to assist him, Melbourne tries to get away from Socrates and the others unnoticed (S'ppose I Should Have Seen It Coming). But Socrates, Fats and Charmer stop him. Melbourne tells Socrates that he can die, satisfied in the knowledge that while he may have lost control of the rats, so has Socrates (Kill Me Now). Socrates reveals that he never wanted to kill Melbourne. Rather, he wants Melbourne to use his great thieving talents in order to execute a heist on his behalf – to steal the crown jewel from King Charles II. Socrates details how the heist will be accomplished (Farynor).

Melbourne realizes that he must decide, once and for all, whether he will live by the virtues of sin or of righteousness. The ghosts of Perry and Hookbeard remind Melbourne that there is, indeed a third option for a rat: “The Ratly Path of Compromise!” (Dance Dance Dance). With that, Melbourne agrees to do the heist. True to form, Melbourne successfully steals Charles’ jewel from the Tower of London, escaping unscathed, only to discover that all the city is ablaze due to a fire he had inadvertently started. Melbourne rushes to rescue Bethesda when Socrates confronts him and demands the jewel he had just stolen. Melbourne lies to Socrates, telling him that he lost the jewel. Fire raging in the background, the rivals engage in combat. Tragically, Socrates catches fire and, refusing Melbourne's help, burns to death (Blackness Fills the Night). By dawn, the city is in cinders, dead rats blanket the ground. Noting the death of the rodents coinciding with the end of the plague, the Londoners come to the horrible realization that it was the rats who'd been the cause of the plague all along (All the Rats Are Dead). A woman cries out, “Plague Rat!” as the sole rat survivors, Melbourne and Bethesda, drift down the Thames on Hookbeard's boat. Melbourne takes the condemnation in stride, having accepted his role in the world. Lovingly he gives Bethesda the jewel he'd stolen from King Charles and lied about to Socrates, as the twosome continue their easterly adventure, sailing bravely into the rising sun of morning (Plague Rat/Epilogue).[4]

The following is a list of numbers (or partially written numbers) either for the 2013 workshop or for the 2016 Adelphi production.

Act I

• 1. Everybody Hide – Fats, Charmer
• 2. Ring-A-Ring-A-Rosy – Thamesa
• 3. Go To Sleep, Sweet Plague Rat – Melbourne
• 4. Bring Out Your Dead – Body Collector, Chorus
• 5. I Want To Believe In Love – Perry
• 6. Where Did He Go? – Melbourne, Bethesda
• 7. Really Rather Strange – Melbourne, Bethesda
• 8. I'm Faithful (To All My Lovers) – Melbourne, Bethesda
• 9. (Tell Me) What's A Good Ol' Boy To Do – Melbourne
• 10. Always A Test – Hookbeard, Melbourne
• 11. Good At Being Gruesome – Perry, Thamesa
• 12. The Plague's The Thing – Ponchus, Judas

Act II

• 13. Oh What A Lovely Plague! – Chorus
• 14. The Sun Is Shining In My Head – Mordekai (aka Squabbler)
• 15. Bethesda's Drunken Lament – Bethesda
• 16. It's Depressing – Socrates
• 17. Many Different Ways To Skin A Rat – Socrates, Caspian