If You Buy This Record (Your Life Will Be Better)

Larry Flick from Billboard wrote that "as clever as peanut butter and chocolate, this full-on camp follow-up to (...) "Feel It" rewrites the instrumental hook of Madonna's "Material Girl" and wraps it around a super-catchy lyrical chant about how "f- f- f- f- f -f -f- fabulous" you'll be with this little ditty in hand." He noted further that "you can't deny its truth, given the adhesive sing-along verses about the improvements in life that Miss Days has seen since buying herself a piece of this musical carnival. The beat also hammers home with the potency of a massive facial tick, delivering the signature bass rollick that has ignited this group across much of Europe." He also stated that their only complaint is that "at 3:08, it's just too short", and added "take it to the beach, in the car, and impress your roommates with this care-free romp that couldn't deliver the season's fun quotient with any more good cheer."[3]

British trade paper Music Week named "If You Buy This Record" its "Single of the Week" on their 17 October 1998 issue. Despite calling the track "cheesier than a bucket of fondue", the paper described the "Material Girl" sample as "irresistibly infectious" and referred to its title as "one of the cheekiest claims ever made".[2]

In the Tamperer's native Italy, the track peaked at number four on the Musica e dischi chart.[4] It was a top-three success in the United Kingdom, where it debuted and peaked at number three on 8 November 1998,[5] topping the UK Indie Chart the same week.[6] It earned a silver certification in the UK for shipping over 200,000 units and ended 1998 as the country's 59th-best-selling hit.[7][8] In neighbouring Ireland, it reached number six,[9] while across Europe, it peaked inside the top 20 in Austria,[10] Flanders,[11] Denmark,[12] Finland,[13] the Netherlands,[14] and Sweden.[15] On the Eurochart Hot 100, it rose to number eight on 28 November 1998.[16]

"If You Buy This Record" experienced moderate success outside Europe. In New Zealand, the single peaked at number 11 for two nonconsecutive weeks in February 1999, staying in the top 20 for 10 weeks and the top 50 for 16 weeks.[17] In Australia, it repeatedly entered and exited the top 50 in early 1999, attaining its peak of number 27 on 17 January 1999.[18] The song was also successful on the American and Canadian dance charts, peaking in popularity in May 1999. In the former country, it reached number 15 on the Billboard Hot Dance Club Play chart and number 16 on the Billboard Hot Dance Singles Sales listing.[19][20] On Canada's RPM Dance chart, the song achieved a peak of number four on the issue of 3 May 1999.[21]