The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

In the past, the pirate Robert the Terrible attacks and boards one of the Kingdom of Monterria's ships, capturing Prince Alexander. Eluding the pirates, Princess Eloise and her servant Willory (played by Archibald Asparagus) send a device that the king made, called a "Helpseeker," to find heroes to save Alexander.

In modern times, three misfits: the "yes man" George (Pa Grape), the lazy Sedgewick (Mr. Lunt), and the timid Elliot (Larry the Cucumber) are employees at a dinner theater. Although they want to be seen as heroes by their loved ones, as lowly cabin boys they think their dream is unattainable. After wrecking the show one night, they are fired and thrown into an alley. The Helpseeker locates them and, after Elliot activates the device, transports the trio to Monterria.

Meeting the Princess and Willory, the group sets off to Jolly Joe's Tavern where they learn that Pirate Robert, the brother of the king before being banished, has kidnapped Alexander in the hopes of exacting revenge on the king. Setting sail in search of the whereabouts of Robert's hideout, the pirate's men capture Eloise and Willory. As George and Elliot continue on their quest, a cowardly Sedgewick decides to stay behind in a cave filled with "cheese curls". After the two leave, Sedgewick discovers the curls are instead living worm-like creatures which chase him out of the cave, forcing him to overcome his fear and laziness.

Meanwhile, George and Elliot arrive on an island populated by a rock giant family, who help them make it to Robert's fortress. Arriving at a hidden bay outside of the fortress, the trio are attacked by a giant serpent. However, Elliot realizes the guardian is actually a mechanical device and is able to shut the machine down from inside and save the two. Once inside, George, Sedgewick, and Elliot rescue the prince and princess but are confronted by Robert who demands to know when the king is coming back. With no other choice, George, Sedgewick, and Elliot admit that they are "only cabin boys," and not heroes. But, suddenly, finding his self-respect, George uses a chandelier to knock the pirate down and the group escapes through the fortress's cistern with Robert in hot pursuit. Back in the bay, Robert's ship opens fire on the group's small boat, but the king arrives, sinks Robert's ship, and rescues the group.

After receiving medals from the king and being declared heroes, the Helpseeker returns Elliot, George, and Sedgewick to the restaurant. Unbeknownst to them, Robert has stowed away on their trip back to get revenge on them for defeating him and attacks the dinner theater set and mistakes Sir Frederick (Jimmy Gourd), one of the stage performers, for George. In a final showdown, the trio defeat Robert and send him back to his own time. The audience cheer wildly as the gang earn the respect they had desired. Offered a second chance to be in the show, the three refuse and leave to pursue adventure elsewhere one more time as the Helpseeker blinks once again.

After the entire cast is credited, the cast sings "Rock Monster", a parody of The B-52's' hit "Rock Lobster". Once they are done singing, Bob the Tomato finally makes his appearance, as the director. Meanwhile, Robert is arrested by the King for his crimes.

• Phil Vischer - George (Pa Grape) / Sedgewick (Mr. Lunt) / Willory (Archibald Asparagus) / Sir Frederick (Jimmy Gourd) / Mr. Hibbing (Mr. Nezzer) / Pirate at Jolly Joe's (Phillipe the French Pea) / Bob the Tomato / Additional Voices
• Mike Nawrocki - Elliot (Larry the Cucumber) / Pirate at Jolly Joe's (Jean-Claude the French Pea) / Rock Monster Dad / Additional Voices
• Cam Clarke - Robert the Terrible / The King
• Yuri Lowenthal - Prince Alexander
• Laura Gerow - Princess Eloise
• Alan Lee - Blind Man / One-Eyed Louie
• Tim Hodge - Jolly Joe (Charlie Pincher) / King's Ship Officer
• Megan Murphy - Jolly Joe's Wife (Madame Blueberry)
• Cydney Trent - Bernadette (Petunia Rhubarb)
• Keri Pisapia - Ellen
• Sondra Morton Chaffin - Caroline
• Drake Lyle - George Jr. / Rock Monster Boy
• Ally Nawrocki - Lucy / Rock Monster Girl
• Jim Poole - Pirate at Jolly Joe's (Scooter Carrot)
• Joe Spadford - Jacob Lewis / Additional Voices
• Brian Roberts - Additional Voices
• Andy Youssi - Additional Voices
• John Wahba - Additional Voices
• Patrick Kramer - Colin

Phil Vischer completed the script for this film in 2002, noting that he wrote it before Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl was released.[1] But because of the bankruptcy and buyout of assets of Big Idea Productions, the film wasn't able to start production until late 2005.

The animation was done by Big Idea, Inc. in Nashville, Tennessee in association with Starz Animation in Toronto, Canada.[1]

According to the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, 43% of critics have given the film a positive review based on 35 reviews, with an average rating of 4.92/10. The site's critics consensus reads, "This Veggietale should please the youngest crowds, but the silly script will tire the more discerning viewer."[2] At Metacritic, the film has a weighted average score of 49 out of 100 based on 13 critics, indicating "mixed or average reviews".[3] The film earned $12.7 million for Universal Studios out of an estimated $15 million budget.[4] The film was released on DVD on October 14, 2008.

The VeggieTales characters (left to right) of Mr. Lunt, Pa Grape, and Larry the Cucumber on the main stage at the Georgia International Horse Park in Conyers during the Celebrate Freedom 2007 concert on September 1, 2007 dressed in costume for the promotion of the film.

• "Spanish Gold", sung by veggies on stage
• "Jolly Joe's", sung by Jolly Joe pirates at Jolly Joe's
• "Yo Ho Hero", sung by Newsboys and Steve Taylor and the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
• "Papa's Got a Gumball Nellie", sung by Elliot the Brave (score)
• "Walking Rocks", sung by Elliot the Brave (score)
• "Spanish Gold Reprise", sung by veggies on stage
• "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything", sung by Relient K when the credits are paused
• "Rock Monster", sung by the entire food cast while the credits are paused, is a parody of Rock Lobster by The B-52's
• "What We Gonna Do?", sung by TobyMac during the ending credits
• "The Right Thing", sung by Mandisa only on the soundtrack

• Official website
• The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie at IMDb
• The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie at Box Office Mojo
• The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie at AllMovie