The Slammin' Salmon

The Slammin' Salmon is a 2009 comedy film by Broken Lizard. It is about the owner of a restaurant who holds a contest to see which one of his waiters can earn the most money in a single night. The winner receives $10,000, and the loser receives a "beat down" by the owner, Cleon Salmon, a former heavyweight boxer (played by Michael Clarke Duncan). Kevin Heffernan directed the film, his first time for a Broken Lizard film.[1]

The Slammin' Salmon
Theatrical release poster
Directed byKevin Heffernan[1]
Produced byPeter Lengyel
Richard Perello
Written byBroken Lizard
StarringMichael Clarke Duncan
Jay Chandrasekhar
Kevin Heffernan
Steve Lemme
Paul Soter
Erik Stolhanske
Cobie Smulders
April Bowlby
Olivia Munn
Music byNathan Barr
CinematographyRobert Barocci
Edited byBrad Katz
Distributed byAnchor Bay Films
Release date
  • January 17, 2009 (2009-01-17) (Slamdance Film Festival)
  • December 11, 2009 (2009-12-11) (United States)
Running time
90 minutes
CountryUnited States
LanguageEnglish

Plot summary

In Miami, Florida, the sadistic and dimwitted retired heavyweight boxing champion Cleon Salmon owns the critically acclaimed sports-themed restaurant The Slammin' Salmon. His staff comprises manager Rich, socially inept Nuts, callous Guy, pre-med Tara, ballet student Mia, bit player Connor, and chef Dave and his busboy twin brother Donnie. Cleon orders Rich to make $20,000 for the night to pay the yakuza, whom he owed said amount after losing a bet hunting human albinos in Japan; otherwise, the yakuza would take the restaurant. Cleon explains that he is strapped for cash as he just bought "some land on the moon next to John Travolta". Afraid of getting beat up by Cleon should he refuse, Rich reluctantly accepts.

Rich makes only $2,000 in the beginning of the shift, and notices his staff slacking at work. An hour and a half later, Rich incentivizes them with a "prize" of a four-day, three-night stay at a resort hotel in Key Largo that he booked in a phone call by imitating Cleon's deep intimidating voice. Although the staff profits from selling their expensive cod meal, Connor, Nuts, and Mia all get into trouble while serving. Rich accidentally swallows an engagement ring buried into a brownie that belongs to Connor's table; Nuts begins acting strange while serving; and Mia suffers a first-degree burn after Guy slips on the floor and accidentally spills a hot soup onto her. The ring's owner lashes out at Connor, while Mia's burnt face affects her ability to coax male customers into buying their specialty.

Cleon is disappointed when the staff made only $12,000 for the final hours. As a result, he incentivizes them with a cash prize of $10,000 for the top-selling waiter and a "broken rib sandwich" to whoever is in last place. When Rich argues that giving away $10,000 would be counter to collecting his debt, Cleon retorts that he "ain't a number's man. I punch people for a living."

The staff become determined to win the prize and avoid Cleon's beating, with some attempting to one-up the other. Guy grows impatient with a bibliophile man who has not ordered since he sat. He relinquishes his table to Donnie, whom Rich recently promoted to waiting tables on the spot. Due to his inexperience waiting and his clumsiness, Donnie gets into trouble with a table occupied by British men and attempts to escape from work out of fear of disappointing Cleon, only to be thwarted by him on the street. Tara then sees Donnie crying in the cold storage room and tells her that he is afraid he will get beat up by Cleon if he finished last. She then uplifts Donnie and offers one of her tables she claims offering a great tip and good check for him. Nuts fails to take his medication on time, transforming him into his bizarre split personality Zongo, who then force-feeds a cod meal into a customer's mouth. This causes Cleon to punch him in the gut and fall unconscious. Rich consumes a laxative and successfully defecates the ring.

Guy is frustrated when Donnie outranks him on the scoreboard. He then fabricates a lie that the Alaskan king crab had spoiled in an attempt to sabotage a table Donnie is waiting, causing Donny's customers turn to Guy. Mia causes a table to puke and bail out after strands of her bloodied hair Guy blew fall in a customer's drink. Tara does not earn a tip from a greedy customer, while Connor does even though it came from an estranged TV producer he once worked with.

At closing time, the bibliophile man gives Donnie a large tip of $1,000 by way of gratitude for allowing him to read his copy of War and Peace quietly before his impending death from a terminal illness. After bidding Donnie farewell, the man gets rammed by a horse to death. Later, Rich announces the top-seller as Tara, whom Donnie boosted to victory by giving her his tip to repay her kindness when they were in the cold storage together. Cleon is disappointed at Rich when the staff made only $19,000 the whole night. When Cleon takes the staff's tips to supply the missing amount, Rich toughens up and confronts Cleon. Realizing he only needed 20,000 yen ($170), Cleon shares the takings with the staff and beats up Guy, the lowest-selling waiter.

Cast

Staff

  • Michael Clarke Duncan Cleon "Slammin'" Salmon, the unstable, intimidating, and grammatically inaccurate owner of the restaurant. A recurring gag where he shrieks "Whatever Motherfucker!!" in response to being corrected on his grammar mistakes.
  • Jay Chandrasekhar Nuts/Zongo, a waiter with a split personality disorder. One side is socially awkward; the other is over-the-top and insane.
  • Kevin Heffernan Richardo "Rich" Perente, the timid manager (post movie opening) and a former waiter at the restaurant who was derogatorily nicknamed "Cunty MacTwat" due to his cowardice.
  • Steve Lemme Connor Rhodes, a washed-up actor who ends up working for the restaurant as a waiter.
  • Paul Soter Donald "Donnie" Kanogi, a clumsy busboy for the restaurant. Soter also voices Dave Kanogi, an ill-tempered, obnoxious, whiny chef who is Donnie's twin brother.
  • Erik Stolhanske Guy "Meat-drapes" Metdrapedes, an arrogant, callous waiter.
  • Cobie Smulders Tara, a calm and reserved medical school student who works at the restaurant.
  • April Bowlby Mia, an aspiring ballerina who is a stubborn, flirtatious, childish waitress and Connor's old flame,
  • Nat Faxon Carl the Manager (movie opening).
  • Michael Yurchak Jaime the Line Chef.
  • Carrie Clifford Patty the Hostess.
  • Richard Perello Fidel the Bartender.

Customers

Release

The film premiered at the Slamdance Film Festival on January 17, 2009.[2] It was released to limited theaters in the United States on December 11, 2009.[3] On April 13, 2010, the film was released on DVD and Blu-ray.

Reception

The film received mostly negative reviews. Rotten Tomatoes reported that 35% of critics gave the film a positive review based on a sample of 26, and an average score of 4.9 out of 10.[4] Neil Genzlinger of The New York Times praised Duncan's performance, but noted that many of the jokes in the film are tired and old.[5] Michael O'Sullivan, writing for The Washington Post, noted that the film engages in "lowbrow insults and slapsticky shenanigans" and its humor "hovers around crotch level."[6]

References

  1. Yamato, Jen (March 5, 2008). "Sneak Peek: Inside Broken Lizard's Next Film, Slammin' Salmon". Rotten Tomatoes. Retrieved March 8, 2008.
  2. Vice, Jeff (December 8, 2008). "Slamdance announces '09 slate of flicks". Deseret News. Retrieved December 28, 2008.
  3. "The Slammin' Salmon | Moviephone". Moviephone.
  4. "The Slammin' Salmon". Rotten Tomatoes. Retrieved July 16, 2018.
  5. Genzlinger, Neil (December 11, 2009). "A Restaurant in Full Hustle on a Make-or-Break Night". The New York Times. Retrieved December 16, 2009.
  6. O'Sullivan, Michael (December 11, 2009). "On the menu: Lowbrow farce". The Washington Post. Retrieved December 16, 2009.
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