I Am Santa Claus

1. "There's Another Santa Claus" - 2:01
   • (parody of "Here Comes Santa Claus," performed by a Gene Autry impersonator)
2. "Walkin' 'Round in Women's Underwear"[3][4] - 1:55
   • (parody of "Winter Wonderland" about cross-dressing)[1]
3. "I Am Santa Claus" - 3:22
   • (sung to tune of "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath, except the last ten notes on the prominent guitar riff are replaced with five notes from Jingle Bells.)[5]
   • A music video was made for the title track, in which Rivers, playing a father of two, inexplicably transforms into a heavy-metal Santa Claus riding in a reindeer-pulled limousine on Christmas Eve. In a meta-cameo, Ozzy Osbourne, in a black-and-white universe watching the video on a television, angrily turns the TV off, transforming metal-Santa (in the middle of a concert) back into Rivers.[6]
4. "Manger 6" - 0:44
   • (parody of Motel 6 ads, narrated by a Tom Bodett impersonator)
5. "O Little Town of Bethlehem" - 2:09
   • (sung to the tune of "The House of the Rising Sun" as performed by The Animals)[7]
6. "I Came Upon a Roadkill Deer" - 3:01
   • (parody of "It Came Upon the Midnight Clear")[7]
7. "Teddy the Red-Nosed Senator" - 1:25
   • (parody of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" as performed by Burl Ives; about US Senator Ted Kennedy and his drinking, see Chappaquiddick incident)
8. "Grahbe Yahbalz" - 1:08
   • (parody of "Deck the Halls;" the name is pseudo-Yiddish for censorship purposes, song describes a gesture frequently used by Michael Jackson)
9. "A Letter to Santa" - 2:41
   • (spoken-word piece in which Vito Corleone from The Godfather writes a letter to Santa Claus)
10. "Jingle Hells Bells" - 2:38
    • (uses riffs of "Highway to Hell" and "T.N.T."; sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things", performed in the style of Bon Scott-era AC/DC)[7]
11. "The Kids" - 2:18
    • spoken by Bob Rivers
12. "The Magical Kingdom of Claus" - 5:53
    • (mini-musical parody of The Wizard of Oz, in which the Emerald City/North Pole is replaced with a commercialized shopping mall-type environment, briefly parodies the song "If I Only Had a Brain")
13. "The 'What's It to Ya' Chorus - 2:37
    • (parody of Handel's "The Hallelujah Chorus" from The Messiah, with the chorus insisting to the listener to mind one's own business)
14. "Didn't I Get This Last Year?" - 3:22
    • (parody of "Do You Hear What I Hear" About repeatedly getting unpleasant gifts, if not the same ones, each year.)[7]
15. "The Under the Tree World of Jacques Cousteau" - 3:02
    • (spoken word piece, narrated by a Cousteau impersonator)
16. "O Christmas Tree" - 2:33
    • Instrumental set to the sounds of chainsaws.

J. D. Considine wrote in the Baltimore Sun that "Rivers' idea of 'funny' generally seems the work of a guy who's read too many issues of Mad magazine, but there are some good bits here."[8] Helen Bryant of The Dallas Morning News wrote "Irving Berlin, it's not"[1] while the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette called the album "this year's hip offering."

By late December 2003, the album had already sold more than 100,000 copies.[9] I Am Santa Claus entered the Billboard Top Albums chart at #180[9] before peaking at #106.