List of Squidbillies episodes

The back story for the series, focusing on Rusty's conception and childhood leading to his reunion with his father, Early.

The Sheriff and Early visit a therapist together and resolve none of their issues.

Early wears his "party hat" to church, upsetting the Pastor and God. An accident causes him to become a Fundamentalist Christian.

On Halloween night the family confronts the local monsters.

Comedian Plumber Bubba (a parody of Larry the Cable Guy) does a show in town.

Early and Krystal reconcile, but it doesn't go well.

Early, Rusty, and the Sheriff tour Atlanta, where Early is arrested.

Another squid causes Rusty to question the nature of life.

On Christmas night Early captures and ransoms Santa Claus.

Rusty sells his soul to the devil in exchange for guitar skills. To preserve his ego, Early does the same.

After Early sells some of the land for commercial use, the family has a run-in with a group of hippies.

After accompanying his father to "Make Your Child Do Work Day", Rusty enters a demolition derby.

A documentary on "ignorant land squids"—the Cuylers—is filmed in Dougal County.

The Rapture occurs and various Dougal County residents ascend to Heaven, while others do not.

When Dougal County is forced to conserve water due to a drought, Dan Halen enacts a complicated plan to get all the water he needs.

Dan Halen grows a tail and horn and hears a voice, prompting him to have "Mount Murder" built. Meanwhile, The Cuylers have accidentally given away instead of sold their mud, leaving them no money for gas to go muddin'.

Dougal county celebrates Mud Days, during which Dan Halen presents the community with a corn maze.

An accident leads to rage, leads to friendship, leads to love, leads to murder, leads to political success. The phrases "Death to America" and "...go that way" are used extensively in this episode.

Rusty discovers that steroids have no negative repercussions.

The oldest living Confederate widow doesn’t say anything of real relevance.

The Cuylers slip the surly bonds of earth and touch the face of God’s Bro after Dan Halen finances the construction of a black hole.

Early learns the importance of family, and profiting off them.

When the media sensationalizes his son’s disappearance, Early finds the coverage to be sensational.

The discovery of Lil's secret marijuana operation brings jamband Widespread Panic to Dougal County.

Early starts his own cult and marries a bunch of women in a "Jim Jones" like manner.

Rusty receives a treasure map from his great-grandfather in a prison.

Advances in holodeck technology allow Early to visit Florida.

Early's GPS unit develops a bromance with him and tries to kill off Granny and Rusty so it and Early can be together.

Rusty gets into a rap band and the fever catches Early as they both become "Clowny Freaks". Rusty eventually loses interest but not Early.

Guest appearances: Andrew Montesi as Festival of the Clowny Freak commercial voice-over, Todd Snider as lobster freak, Larry Wachs as birthday clown

Rusty discovers that he is one of the greatest football players around and this affords him a chance to go to college, while Early tries to profit from Rusty's talent.

A very special Squidbillies musical in which Early and the rest of the group sing about how much they love the United States of America, while defending Dougal County against al-Qaeda's plot to invade Alabama.

Early's addiction to asbestos hats gives him a terminal disease, and the Sheriff decides to let Early have his last wishes granted.

Guest appearances: T-Pain, Kevin Gillespie, and Brendon Small

Early steals Granny's picture of Jesus and exploits the townspeople by hiding behind the picture and making demands.

Guest appearance: Tim "Action Plan" Andrews

Early attacks and nearly kills a radio announcer that upsets him. He ends up taking the announcer's job and takes the title "Big E". He ends up losing the job when the announcer gets out of the hospital and shoots him in the face during a book signing. The end of the episode has a tribute to the late George Jones who sang the theme for this episode.

Guest appearances: Dave Stone and Jeff B. Davis

Rusty finds a girlfriend and has sex for the first time. Early, infatuated with Rusty's girlfriend, becomes upset to and tries to break them up. Rusty later finds out that he is going to be a father and comes looking for her only to find that she has run away to be with her mother. He finds her and discovers that they are cousins.

Guest appearance: Elizabeth Cook

Rusty forms a bond with a magical snowman who sheds doubt on Early's parenting skills.

Guest appearances: The Mighty Ohba, Ryuu Sato, and George Robinson

Early becomes addicted to a video poker machine.

Guest appearance: Riley Martin

A terminally ill Ga-Ga-Pee-Pap returns to make peace with his family before death, and also to "get them again" one more time.

After being challenged on his knowledge of trucking by Rusty, Early recounts his time as The Scrambler, a rebel trucker who took on trucking runs that "couldn't be done". They really couldn't: Dan Halen hired him to drive toxic waste from Dougal County to Paris, thereby dumping it into the Atlantic Ocean.

Guest appearances: Riley Martin and Billy Joe Shaver

Months after the events of Keeping It in the Family Way, Rusty sacrifices his mediocre dreams to support the child he is about to have with Tammi.

Early gets plastic surgery to improve his self-esteem.

Lil gets sober and moves out.

When Rusty takes the fall for Early’s crimes, Early becomes jealous of the attention that Rusty receives. Early then commits a crime that enrages the entire county.

The sheriff gets a Russian mail-order bride, who promptly abandons him for a much more attractive man.

Dan Halen's most recent business venture takes off when he advertises Rusty's chalk art as cave drawings created by ancient aliens.

Guest appearances: Bradford Cox and Jared Swilley as themselves

The ghost of Ga Ga Pee Pap returns to bond with Early.

Guest appearance: Jesco White as the ghost of Ga-Ga-Pee-Pap Cuyler

Rusty moonlights as a crime fighter ignoring Tammi and his son.

Rusty gets a job piloting drones only to have Early face off against them.

A new judge sets out to punish lawbreakers.

Guest appearances: Lavell Crawford as Judge Jammer, Ellis Walden as Judge Douglas Peppers

The squids have a nuanced and well thought out debate on the controversial practice of fracture mining.

Note: This is the second half-hour episode. Guest appearances: Ralphie May (credited under "Sweet Dick May") as P-Nut, Ellis Walden as fracturing boss

Early sells out to liberal Hollywood.

Early accidentally shoots Rusty while drunk.

Guest appearances: Dave Hill and Joe Randazzo

Dan Halen is diagnosed with taint cancer which ultimately leads to adopting/converting Kemetism as his religion and building a pyramid.

Guest appearances: Isaac Hayes III and Brendon Small

Sheriff's father breaks the law to deconstruct social barriers.

Early marries the Sheriff's invalid mother.

Early faces deportation... right after yelling at Hispanics to leave the USA. The Sheriff asks Early for a birth certificate and social security number but his mother (Granny) can't give him one because she gave birth to him in international waters while she was prostituting herself at Navy ships. Early is deported and returns to marry his mother in an attempt to regain citizenship. At the wedding and the end of the episode, one of the Hispanic men from the beginning tell the Sheriff that the marriage was unnecessary, because his mother is a citizen and therefore so is Early.

Guest appearances: Todd Barry and Anthony "Citric" Campos

The Cuylers donate their bodies to science while they can still make money from them.

Guest appearances: Amber Nash as Prosperity and Tara Ochs.

Early battles his grandson, Randy, in a Woody scout pine car derby. Early makes a truck-boat-truck car and Rusty makes a plain wooden car with sap clogging the wheels. Early beats Rusty during practice. Later that night, Rusty makes modifications to the car (which is against the rules). The next day, Rusty wins against half of the racers while Early beats the other half. The two Cuylers face off but Rusty wins when Early's cheating attempt fails. Despite winning by speed, Early wins by rule because a hot dog piece that he told Granny to shoot hits his truck-boat-truck by accident. In the end, everyone gets a trophy and a pizza and Early storms out saying "Goshdam millennials!"

Sheriff's old classmate makes the mistake of returning to town.

Randy is bullied at school because of his squid tentacles. Early and Granny teach Randy how to use his tentacles to fight back. The next day, Randy violently hurts two bullies by ramming his tentacles up their butts and through their mouths. This leads to fear in the school and Tammi tells the three Cuylers that she's talked to the doctor about surgically removing Randy's squid parts. This surprises them and Early asks Tammi for 24 hours to show her that Randy is a good squid. He teaches Randy how to get out of work, to disobey orders, to rob Boyd's store, and demonstrates squirting ink when angry. When Randy fails to squirt ink at a cardboard cutout of Bill Clinton, Early and Granny become indifferent and tell Rusty to "let his mama cut off them wigglers...He ain't one of us." Rusty and Randy leave and Rusty tells Tammi that she's right, surgery is the best option, but she informs him that the surgery is too expensive for her to afford. Wanting to provide for his son, Rusty steals one of his father's trucks and sells it online. Unfortunately, Randy's surgery doesn't help anything as his tentacles grow back. Early wakes up and calls the Sheriff to search for his truck. Deputy Denny shows up driving the truck, revealing that he bought it online. Early and Denny argue and draw their guns, causing Sharif to draw two pistols. A Mexican standoff ensues, with no one shooting. Denny explains (after a lot of yelling) that Rusty sold the truck to him online but Early refuses to believe it. Rusty walks up and reveals that he actually did, saying "because I'm a squid: I steal, I don't take orders from nobody." Early tells his son that he's proud of him, knowing "you was always a good squid." Taking advantage of the distraction, Denny rides off in the truck, hoping to keep it. Early, Rusty, and Randy follow. Denny leaps out of his house with his pistols drawn just as Early is breaking into his truck. Randy sprays ink all over Denny, then inserts his tentacles up Denny's butt and through his mouth, then beats him. This makes the other two squids happy until blood starts pouring. Early drives the three of them home.

Early gets drunk and argues with a peaceful goateed stranger at the Waffle Barn. He injures himself by walking in front of a car, preventing the two from fighting each other. Early appears in church the next day, bandaged in multiple places, and brags about beating up the stranger, forcing him to buy him dinner and drive him home, none of which is true. Then the stranger steps to the front of the church and introduces himself as Kyle Nubbins, the new pastor, saying the reverend had left to go to "a better place....First Presbyterian of Blue Ridge." Kyle then plays his guitar and invites the church's congregation to a potluck in the evening. Early and Granny talk to each other at home about their dislike for Nubbins at home. At the potluck, Early accuses Kyle of being "pissed off" about losing the Waffle Barn fight the night before and throws food on the ground while cursing and insulting Nubbins. He leaves, taking food for himself when the Sheriff intervenes. Later on, the Cuylers show up to the church's fundraiser and Early dunks Nubbins in a tub of water without throwing the ball at the target, then points his sawed-off shotgun at Nubbins. Kyle quietly talks to Early, saying he understands Early's anger and instability and that alcohol won't help him. Early is baptized, then reveals that he hasn't changed as he steals all the fundraiser money. In church, Nubbins tells the congregation to close their eyes and allow the thief to return the money. When they open their eyes, however, not only did Early not return the money, he also steals Kyle's guitar. This reveals an ugly side of the pastor, cursing when he realizes that his "12 string" is gone. Nubbins walks up on Early, who is playing the guitar and singing at the Cuyler house. Early camoflouges himself, but forgets that his hat and the guitar reveal his position. Kyle rams Early against the wall and begins to choke him. The two calm down and meet in the church gym for a pushing contest in Sumo wrestler suits, which is Early's idea. However, Rusty (in the legs of the Cuyler suit) walks backwards, out of the circle. Sheriff tearfully tells Early that Early has to leave town, as he promised, but Early refuses, saying "I love this town with all of my heart, and it would take a 220 sasquatch to drag me from this town." The Sheriff then straps Early to a dog, which drags him away. Nubbins (apparently satisfied) walks off, saying to the crowd "We'll see you in church."

Guest appearance: Jason Isbell as new reverend Kyle Nubbins

Note: This episode was dedicated to the memory of the late Scott Hilley, who voiced The Reverend in the series.

Jealousy sparks industry sparks grave robbery sparks the apocalypse.

Rusty's new friend is invited to Thanksgiving dinner.

Rusty fills in for the murder of Boyd.

Guest appearances: Jason Isbell as Rev. Kyle Nubbins, Tony Guerrero, Isaac Hayes III, and JD McPherson as a group of prisoners, Edward Hastings as the judge.

Theme song performer: Steve Earle

Rusty goes as the Guzzle Bumpkin, but things take a violent turn for the worse.

Sheriff discovers alcohol at the world's largest outdoor cocktail party.

Early's most confusing conspiracy theory proves false.

Making the ladies' room safe from men who believe they are women.

Early exploits himself for attention.

Everyone lies and all of the houses burn.

Early and Tammi start a band in a star-studded episode that got us a free cruise.