List of Till Death Us Do Part episodes

This is an episode list for the BBC television sitcom Till Death Us Do Part by Johnny Speight, broadcast between 22 July 1965 and 3 April 1992, including Till Death... and In Sickness and in Health.

Till Death Us Do Part

Earlier episodes were produced in black-and-white; all episodes after Series 3 are in colour. The original videotapes of nearly all episodes prior to Series 4 were wiped, although complete or partial recordings of some episodes have been found. Recordings exist of all episodes from Series 4 and later.

Pilot episode
Title Airdate Description Notes
Till Death Us Do Part 22 July 1965 The only way that Mike can take out a deposit on a new home is to take out a life insurance policy on Alf. Aired as an episode of Comedy Playhouse. Only an excerpt is known to exist. Gretchen Franklin plays Else.

Series 1
Title Airdate Description Notes
Arguments, Arguments 6 June 1966 A weekend in the Garnett household is punctuated with rows, and the protagonist is generally Alf. Whether it is politics, family, drink, or football, he has an opinion that is shared by very few—least of all his long-suffering wife Else and his son-in-law Mike. A recording was found in 2002. This episode is included as an extra on The Complete 1974 Series DVD.
Hair Raising 13 June 1966 Alf does not realize that Mike has drawn a face on his bald head while he was asleep and wanders off to the pub. Published on 4 Feb 2014 - YouTube channel: audio only.
A House With Love In It 20 June 1966 It is Else and Alf's twenty-fifth wedding anniversary though Alf has forgotten and it is left to Mike to give him a present to pass on to his wife, not that Alf is grateful. Mike and Rita take Alf and Else to dinner at a fancy place in the West End. But Alf gets drunk and Mike discovers he doesn't have enough money for the bill. Published on 22 October 2007 - YouTube channel (video and audio) in seven parts under the title 'Silver Wedding Anniversary.'
Intolerance 27 June 1966 Alf's racist outbursts lead to his receiving a black eye at a cup final match in Scotland. Published on 4 Feb 2014 - YouTube channel: audio only.
Then complete episode found in 2016.
Two Toilets?...That's Posh! 4 July 1966 Mike tries to convince Alf to sell the house and buy a new larger modern house. However, Alf later learns his plans involve Mike having the title deeds. Published on 4 Feb 2014 - YouTube channel: audio only.
From Liverpool With Love 18 July 1966 Mike's Irish parents are staying with the Garnetts, much to Alf's annoyance. Published on 4 Feb 2014 - YouTube channel: audio only.
Claustrophobia 1 August 1966 The Garnetts drive to Cornwall for a holiday in an isolated old cottage. Published on 4 Feb 2014 - YouTube channel: audio only.

Series 2
Title Airdate Description Notes
Peace and Goodwill 26 December 1966 Christmas lunch in the Garnett household is anything but peaceful as it turns into a debate of politics, the Monarchy, the Monarchy's politics, religion, whether there is a heaven or hell, the fuel to burn the Christmas pudding and a trip to the hospital for Alf to remove a coin he has swallowed accidentally eventually follows in the episode "In Sickness and In Health". Only an incomplete recording was known to exist, until the missing footage was found in 2009.
Sex Before Marriage 2 January 1967 Redecorating the living room leads on to discussions of sexual mores, including suspicions that Mike and Rita had premarital sex. They convince Rita's parents that they didn't, but as soon as they leave the room, Mike and Rita begin laughing, leaving this debate open-ended. Else then reminds Alf that he attempted sex with her before they were married. A discussion with Wally the Milkman leads on to a discussion about the existence of God, to which Mike denies His existence. After Alf is left alone to complete the wallpapering, he realises that he has accidentally left the wallpaper strips too short. Later, he pays a local decorator to complete the job while the rest of the family are out. When Else comes back, she then decides she doesn't like the floral pattern she herself chose, and Alf storms out, insisting "I'm going down the pub!" before returning moments later realising he has no more money, having paid the local decorator £8 10s. Thought missing until found in October 2017.[1]
I Can Give It Up Any Time I Like 9 January 1967 The two men of the household make pledges to give up smoking after Mike catches a cold and is left coughing because of his smoking a cigarette and that of his father-in-law smoking a pipe. It's every man for himself as whoever loses must pledge the savings they make from not smoking to their respective spouses and Mike begins enjoying his new found healthiness from giving up smoking. Alf, however, struggles and is left tempted by both Harold Wilson seen smoking a pipe on TV (a popular image that Wilson cultivated) and Rita and Else both still smoking. Then Alf has a brainwave and makes sure the rest of the household see him smoking his pipe, claiming he is being patriotic by smoking, his logic being that by smoking, he is paying extra tax to support British public services. He takes Else out to dinner on his savings from temporarily giving up smoking. For once, the tables are turned on Mike and Rita, who are both left speechless. only an off-air audio recording exists
The Bulldog Breed 16 January 1967 A visit by people collecting for a Vietnam War victims charity leads to a debate about war - the Vietnam, Second and First World Wars - only then resulting in Alf opening up a world map and showing his complete lack of knowledge of where Russia and even Asia is. This, naturally, is down to the Labour Government for giving away the British Empire. When questioned whether he supports the causes for all three of those wars, he claims to support the causes of the First and Second World Wars, citing his time out in the deserts of North Africa for the Second. Then a lorry parks outside, blocking the sunlight entering the Garnett living room window. An argument erupts between Alf and the lorry driver, with the lorry driver refusing to move. When he thinks no-one is looking, he lets the tyres on the lorry down, only to be overlooked by a lorry driver and a policeman. The policeman hands him a tyre pump, to which Alf reluctantly obeys. So much for the bulldog breed! only an off-air audio recording exists
Caviar on the Dole 23 January 1967 Mike is certainly crowing when he loses his job - not that that is anything to be pleased about - but the Government have just announced an increase in Unemployment Benefit payments. Combined with having to pay Alf £1 a week rent yet claiming £5 a week national assistance for rent, Mike is pleased with the profit he is making, until he is told by a friend that these things are checked up on. When he gets home, Mike is behaving unusually friendly towards Alf, but Rita sees right through him. He then reveals why his attitude has changed - he is wanting to curry favour with his father-in-law and landlord so that Alf will not report Mike to the authorities. Alf reluctantly agrees, but only if Mike pays him the full £5 national rent assistance plus £2 extra per week. Just then a national rent assistance inspector knocks at the door and states he is shocked to learn that Alf is charging Mike so much for such a poor room and lambasts Alf for apparently having a Rachman-style attitude towards his tenants. He then leaves, warning Alf against any further intimidation of the couple. Only an off-air audio recording exists.
A Woman's Place Is In The Home 30 January 1967 Alf returns home late, after doing overtime to find no fire, no family and no food. The family, it turns out, have been out to the cinema, Rita and Else arrive back without Mike in tow, who it is revealed is at a local fish and chip shop for the three of them, leaving out Alf. Rita surmises that if Alf were to call the chip shop from the local phone box (many households, including the Garnett household, in the late 1960s, were not connected up to the national telephone network, relying on calls made from and received in local call boxes), he might get through in time before Mike places the three orders - Mike is queuing to place the orders. Unfortunately Alf has several problems with making the phone call - firstly getting desperate because of a seemingly endless call between a teenage girl and her lover then having terrible problems with a crossed connection. Alf gives up and goes home, only for Mike to unwittingly turn up at home with three orders of fish and chips. Rita agrees to go out to the fish and chip shop again. Mike then tells Alf that Rita has called the phone box from the chip shop to ask what type of fish he wants. More crossed lines ensue and after a lottery of telephone lines, Rita finally gets through to the call box, in which her father is waiting. Alf places an order for skate. When Rita returns home and declares that the chip shop had completely run out of fish, she also tells him that there is a message waiting at the phone box for him. Alf picks up the receiver and finds it is a man with whom he had earlier argued during a crossed line, who retorts that, instead of himself, Alf is a stupid git. Only an off-air audio recording still exists. Was reshot in 2016 for BBC Four’s lost sitcoms season.
A Wapping Mythology

aka The Workers' King

6 February 1967 A picture of the Duke of Windsor, the former King Edward VIII, leads to Alf praising the former King for being "the greatest monarch the country ever had". He then goes on to claim that his father and the former King used to drink regularly at The Royal Crown pub, where he claims they were the only two who could down a yard of ale in exactly 8 and a half seconds. Else discredits the first half of the story but believes the part about Alf's father's drinking abilities. When asked how he knew this person was the real Duke of Windsor, Alf claims he can always see Royalty in breeding. A letter than arrives, with tickets to the West Ham vs. Liverpool football match, one ticket for each team's seating. Mike assumes that the Liverpool ticket is for him but is dismayed when Alf intends to sell the ticket on the ticket tout market. A visit to the local pub and a loosening of acrimony towards each other through the power of alcohol results in Mike persuading Alf to let him have the ticket instead. At the match, at Liverpool FC's ground, Mike and Alf get even more drunk, and when they come in that night, after Else and Rita have watched the match highlights on TV, Mike collapses on the sofa. Alf attempts to cuddle Else, blames Harold Wilson for Liverpool's win (Harold Wilson's constituency was in Huyton, a district of Liverpool), gives a toast to bobby Moore, Alf Ramsey and the Duke of Windsor before finally collapsing to the floor. Only an off-air audio recording and a one-minute-fifteen-second video excerpt exists.
In Sickness and In Health 13 February 1967 Alf is ill in bed with the rest of the family downstairs ignoring him, watching TV. Eventually an NHS doctor with a cough, with questionable competence, arrives and declares that there is nothing wrong with Alf. Alf retorts that on a previous occasion that this doctor diagnosed nothing wrong with a patient, the patient died shortly after. Alf demands to see a specialist and is admitted to hospital, but is frustrated that he has to go on a bus and an ambulance will not be called. In hospital, he frightens a fellow patient, shows surprise at how much compassion the coloured nurses show and overhears a discussion by two surgeons about the operation they are due to perform on Alf tomorrow, including how they must not drink too much brandy that night and how they will have to hurry the operation tomorrow so they can play a round of golf. The rest of the family visit, at first chatting about anything other than Alf, even ignoring him. Eventually Mike begins to taunt Alf on his fears of competence with medical professionals in the NHS, claiming that all the top private doctors visit this hospital - apparently nicknamed "the butcher's shop" - to practice medical procedures on the poor. Alf becomes distraught at the thought of him dying on the operating table but reluctantly goes for surgery. The next day a nurse places into his hand a foreign object that was found to be the cause of Alf's ailment - the coin he had accidentally swallowed when eating the Christmas pudding in the first episode of this series, "Peace and Goodwill". found in 2009 when BBC film editor Graham Walker was found to have a 16mm copy.
State Visit 20 February 1967 Alf is furious that the Russian premier, Kosygin, has been invited to Downing Street by Harold Wilson. Believing that Britain is selling out to the Commies, Alf decides to take Else on a trip to Downing Street to protest—and then on to see Her Majesty at the Palace! found in 2009 when BBC film editor Graham Walker was found to have a 16mm copy.
Alf's Dilemma (aka Cleaning Up TV) 27 February 1967 A quiet afternoon in the Garnett household is the result of Mike and Alf both reading their own new books, and Else and Rita boredly sitting by, wondering what their respective husbands are reading. It transpires that Alf is reading "Cleaning up TV", the book written by the TV morality, anti-swearing, anti-blasphemy, anti-violence campaigner Mary Whitehouse. After ridicule levelled at him from both Mike and Rita ("She's concerned, for the bleedin' moral fibre of the nation!"), whose moral standards are at almost polar opposites from those of Mrs Whitehouse and Mr Garnett, Alf suffers a bout of diarrhoea, which he has been suffering from all day. He rushes to the toilet (an outdoor toilet, as many inner-city dwellings of this type had in the 1960s) only to discover that the toilet is blocked up as a result of Else pouring tea leaves down there. She mentions to him that Mrs Carey next door has offered them the use of her toilet, of which she also has only one. Alf has fallen out with his other next-door neighbour, in fact most of the neighbours on his street, so using their toilets is out of the question. Unfortunately, Mrs Carey's elderly father has fallen asleep on their toilet and Alf learns he is difficult to wake. Alf is forced, while desperately needing the toilet, to listen to Mr and Mrs Carey's frustratingly boring smalltalk conversation, after enough of which Mrs Carey's father finally wakes up and gives Alf the opportunity to rush in. After this, he insists to his family that the spread of diseases, particularly foreign diseases, is as a result of seemingly lax Government immigration policy, resulting in "German measles, Asian flu and 'Paki-pox'" making their ways into Britain and infecting our native population. Then he suffers another attack of diarrhoea and rushes next door to use their toilet again, only to find an almost repeat performance of his earlier visit, including snoozing old man on the toilet! So instead of waiting, he rushes down to the local pub to use their conveniences, only to find that the pub has called its last orders and won't allow him in. In desperation, he hails a taxi to take him to the nearest public toilet. The next day, Alf is ready to visit hospital for treatment, he has been diagnosed as carrying streptococci. Mike reminds him of his earlier statements about immigrants being carriers, and how paper and letters from "wogs" can spread diseases. this is a perfect excuse to burn Alf's Mary Whitehouse book as it may carry similar germs. Else muses that they might need to have the room fumigated whilst Mike and Rita avoid Alf as he pleads with them that it's just a small illness, shouting "Unclean! Unclean!" 20 minutes of footage were returned to the archive in 1997 but the other 10 minutes remains lost.

Easter special
Title Airdate Description Notes
Till Closing Time Us Do Part 27 March 1967 As the evening draws in and Alf gets drunker, three celebrity faces arrive at the local. Whilst Alf struggles to remember their names, Kenny Lynch, Jimmy Tarbuck, Ray Barrett entertain the regulars with a few song and jokes - at Alf's expense, naturally! Published on 12 November 2012 on YouTube Channel (both audio and video)

Series 3
Title Airdate Description Notes
The Phone 5 January 1968 When Mike is unable to get into the phone box to place Alf's bet on a horse which ultimately wins, Alf decides it is time for the Garnetts to have their own phone. Despite Mike trying to wind him up by pretending to be the operator, Alf is proud of his new possession but gets fed up when Else allows Min from next door to come in and use the phone, turning down the volume on the television show he is trying to watch Only a low-quality, domestic recording is known to exist.
The Blood Donor 12 January 1968 Believing that Alf is scared to be a blood donor Mike goads him by betting him that even if he did give blood it would be rejected. This does the trick but Alf is sure that his blood will be given to somebody of importance and then has a dream that he is at Buckingham Palace where he has helped out the queen by his donation. Published on 26 February 2013 on YouTube (both audio and video)
Monopoly 19 January 1968 It's New Year's Eve and Alf, not wanting to join the others at the party over the road, gets out his old Monopoly set. When the rest of the family returns they have a game, leading to the inevitable falling out over property between Alf and Mike, and Alf taking drastic action. Only an audio recording is known to exist.
The Funeral 26 January 1968 Out of grudging respect for a dead female neighbor he despised, Alf orders the telly off for the whole day. Mike then tells Alf that his beloved West Ham will play Fulham, on telly that evening, but will Alf watch the Hammers 7–2 triumph Only an audio recording is known to exist.
Football 2 February 1968 Despite the fact that he confiscated local kids' football, Alf is still invited by the vicar to act as coach for the youth soccer team, attracting scorn from Mike. Needless to say Alf is not a good trainer, concentrating on the skills of only one player, though he does attract the attention of some well-known soccer players. Only an audio recording is known to exist.
The Puppy

aka The Dog

9 February 1968 Alf returns home from the pub having bought a mongrel puppy. The rest of the family find it adorable but it is not exactly house-trained and the more the others find it charming through its anti-social antics the more Alf comes to resent it and wants to get rid of it. An audio recording is known to exist. A 6-minute domestically recorded video excerpt exists.
Aunt Maud 16 February 1968 When Else is laid up with bronchitis her sister Maud comes to look after the family. She and Alf hate each other and, after he insults her once too often, she refuses to cook for him. She also sees the opportunity to make him jealous when Else's old flame George Pringle comes to visit and Maud hints at something that might have happened between him and Else on Brighton beach before the war. A domestic recording exists, still missing the first two minutes.

Episodes from 1965–1968 known to still exist
SeriesEpisodeTitleBroadcastNotes
PilotTill Death Us Do Part22/7/65clip, sequence, and extract exist
11Arguments, Arguments6/6/66found in 2002
13A House With No Love In It20/6/66
14Intolerance11/7/66found on 8 August 2016.
21Peace and Goodwill26/12/66
22Sex Before Marriage02/01/67found in October 2017
28In Sickness and In Health13/2/67found in 2009
29State Visit20/2/67found in 2009
210Alf's Dilemma (Cleaning Up TV)27/2/67found in 1997
Easter specialTill Closing Time Do Us Part27/3/67
31The Phone5/1/68a low-quality, domestic recording exists
32The Blood Donor12/1/68
36The Puppy (The Dog)9/2/68clip, sequence, extract, and final 90 seconds exist
37Aunt Maud16/2/68

Election special
Title Airdate Description Notes
The Campaign's Over

aka Up The Polls

 18 June 1970 It's General Election night, and Alf is discussing the state of the nation, immigration, the Common Market, and the World Cup. First episode produced in colour. A low-quality domestic black-and-white videotape recording, missing the first 5 minutes, of approx. 25-minutes duration is known to exist, as well as a complete audio recording, four seconds of colour footage, and 23 seconds of the ending credits in colour.

Series 4

This series was released on DVD in the UK as The Complete 1972 Series by Network.

Title Airdate Description
To Garnett A Grandson 13 September 1972 Despite Rita giving birth to his new grandson, Alf is a reluctant hospital visitor, as he would much rather be down the pub. A brief moment of bonding with the baby is quickly interrupted by indignation when he hears Mike's proposed name for the infant.

Guest: Joan Sims

Pigeon Fancier (aka The Bird Fancier) 20 September 1972 Alf's in the money; celebrating at the pub he meets a friend, and thinks he has a sure fire way to make some more.

Guests: Joan Sims and Bill Maynard

Holiday in Bournemouth (aka Women's Lib and Bournemouth) 27 September 1972 As the Garnett family set out for Bournemouth after a raging argument about Women's Lib, Alf isn't really in the holiday mood.

Guests: Spike Milligan, Norman Bird and Rita Webb

Dock Pilfering (aka If We Want a Proper Democracy We've Got to Start Shooting a Few People) 11 October 1972 Alf speaks for the silent majority: "If we want a proper democracy here, we've got to start shooting a few people."

Guest: Roy Kinnear

Up The Hammers 18 October 1972 "It's all very well letting women have children, but they shouldn't be allowed to bring them up."

Guests: Joan Sims, Bobby Moore, Alan Ball and Martin Peters

Alf's Broken Leg 25 October 1972 Alf, in a wheelchair with a broken leg, on overpopulation: "Let's have a war and get rid of some of your bloody youth!"

Guest: Joan Sims

1972 Christmas special
Title Airdate Description Notes
Jesus Christ Superstar 26 December 1972 Guest: Paul Nicholas

Series 5

This series was released on DVD in the UK as The Complete 1974 Series by Network.

Title Airdate Description Notes
TV Licence 2 January 1974 Alf feels he doesn't need a TV licence if he only gets commercial television.
The Royal Wedding 9 January 1974 Alf wants to throw a street party for the royal wedding of Princess Anne and Mark Phillips Guest: Joan Sims BBC lost the master tape of this episode but two copies survive. One complete episode survives on a domestic videotape made by an early VTR machine and the other copy is a 24-minute cut that aired in Australia. The episode has never been repeated since it aired although it is included on the DVD releases.
Strikes and Blackouts 23 January 1974 There's a power cut - isn't there?
Three Day Week (aka Else's Three Day Week) 30 January 1974 Else begins her own three-day week so there's no dinner for Alf.
Gran's Watch 5 February 1974 Gran appears to be dying, so she won't need her late husband's gold watch now, will she?

Guest: Joan Sims
Party Night (aka The Demon Drink) 12 February 1974 Alf likes a drink, but isn't amused when the women have a skinful.

Guests: Joan Sims, Roy Kinnear, Rita Webb and Adrienne Posta
Paki-Paddy 28 February 1974 Alf shows his prejudice against immigrants, one of whom moves in next door.

Guest: Spike Milligan as "Paki-Paddy".

1974 Christmas special
Title Airdate Description
Outback Bound 31 December 1974 Elses sister Maud has fallen ill and Else leaves for Australia to care for her. Alf tries to stop her from going but Else leaves anyway

Series 6
Title Airdate Description
Phone Call to Else 8 January 1975 Alf is missing Else who is still away in Australia and Rita and Mike convince him to make a long-distance phone call to her. But Else answers and lays the phone down to answer the doorbell, the time clicks away and the bill grows. Dandy Nichols last appearance as Else Garnett on the series.
Marital Bliss 15 January 1975 Min and Bert Reed from next door have a fight and split up.
Wedgie Ben 22 January 1975 Alf, the Reads and the Rawlins get involved in the inevitable political argument. Alf regards long term Labour minister Anthony Wedgewood Benn a fraud because he has a title - which he will later renounce - and lives in a wealthy Conservative neighbourhood. Mike, however, turns the tables on his father-in-law by pointing out that Alf is a Conservative voter living in a far from wealthy Labour stronghold.
The Wake 29 January 1975 Min's mother has died and everybody has returned from the funeral though Min is adamant that her mother will be reincarnated as a blackbird. Having made sure that he has not already learnt of its outcome Alf settles down to watch the Ali-Foreman fight on TV but there are, of course, complications.
Christmas Club Books 5 February 1975 Alf has been charged to look after the Christmas club subscriptions at the local pub. However maths is not his strong point and he has trouble balancing the books. This in turn leads to the regulars suspecting that, instead of intending to pay them out, he is keeping the cash to join his wife in Oz and an argument breaks out, though he is almost importuned by a gay man.
The Letter 12 February 1975 Alf is heartbroken to learn Else isn't returning to England and has written a letter confirming it to Rita.

Series 7
Title Airdate Description
Moving In With Min 5 November 1975 With it clear Else isn't returning, Alf considers sale of the house and moving in with Min and Reed next door.
Min the Housekeeper 12 November 1975 Min goes on strike as housekeeper.
Drunk In Charge of a Bicycle 19 November 1975 Alf and Bert go out for the day and Alf gets drunk and arrested for riding a bicycle intoxicated.
The Window 26 November 1975 While cleaning the windows, Alf gets stuck on the ledge. Guest starring Pat Coombs.
A Hole In One 3 December 1975 Alf and Bert head off to go golfing
Unemployment 17 December 1975 Alf returns home after being laid off work to find a surprise birthday party with friends and family. Arguments about politics, Catholics and the Irish fill the night. A near fight between Alf and neighbor Wally Carry is interrupted when a telegram arrives from Else in Australia asking for a divorce. Guests: Joan Sims, Pat Coombs and Hugh Lloyd.

1980 Christmas special
Title Airdate Description
The Thoughts Of Chairman Alf At Christmas (On Yer Actual Boxing Day) 26 December 1980 ATV stand-up show, which still exists in the archives.

Till Death...

Series 1 (Series 8)
Title Airdate Description
Episode 1 22 May 1981 Alf, Else and Min explore Eastbourne - including the Pier, the Pier Arcade and the Queen's Hotel.
Episode 2 29 May 1981 Rita and her son, Michael, visit Alf, Else and Min. Whilst on a walk, Alf claims that he was mugged by one of "Michael's sort", when in fact the group of boys were only helping him across the road.
Episode 3 5 June 1981 Alf comes home drunk after watching a West Ham football game and ends up sleeping on the floor in the hall. In the morning, he finds that Else hasn't cooked him any breakfast - and he's livid.
Episode 4 19 June 1981 Alf answers their transport problems by acquiring a very old motorbike and sidecar - however, he hasn't got a licence for it.
Episode 5 26 June 1981 The television is broken.
Episode 6 3 July 1981 Alf is taken ill with liver complaints, after spending the night before drinking.

In Sickness and in Health

Series 1 (Series 9)
Title Airdate Description
Episode 1 1 September 1985 The Garnetts are back in London. Else is severely arthritic and can barely walk and Alf extols the joys of the wheelchair has got her - until he has to push her around in it. With so many cars parked on the pavement he uses the middle of the road, incurring a motorist's wrath. The chair does come in handy for getting him on the front row at football matches though his response to a home win reveals that he is using it fraudulently
Episode 2 8 September 1985 Having complained about his failing eye sight - and just about everything else - Alf takes his wife out in her wheelchair and buys her an ice cream cornet whilst avoiding giving money to the vicar. However his poor sight proves his undoing when he accidentally goes into a ladies' toilet and is arrested as a sex pest.
Episode 3 15 September 1985 Having scrubbed the hall floor and disapproved of Else's using the milkman to place her bets, Alf feels that they are entitled to a home help but manages to antagonise three women in succession. Returning from the pub he finds that the latest is Winston, an extremely flamboyant gay black man who will clearly take no nonsense from him.
Episode 4 29 September 1985 Alf tries the patience of good-natured Fred Johnson and his wife from next door by using their phone to make a very long-winded long-distance call to Rita. After expounding upon funerals in the pub, Alf repays Fred by buying him so many drinks he falls over, but Alf's homeward progress pushing Else in her wheelchair also ends in drunken calamity.
Episode 5 6 October 1985 Rita comes to visit and no sooner is she through the door than Alf argues with her about Else. After Alf has criticised Margaret Thatcher, claiming that no woman should be prime minister, Else and Rita gang up against him with Winston, who brings an equally camp friend home to throw a party for Rita. Alf is given extremely strong drink so that, whilst the others continue carousing, he passes out.
Episode 6 13 October 1985 Tired of pushing Else around in her chair Alf feels she should have an electric scooter but they cost two and a half grand and the woman at Social Security tells Alf that, as long as he is around to push, Else is ineligible. Taking an idea from some kids with a go-kart Alf adds jet propulsion to the chair, which goes out of control, foiling a bank robbery and landing him in hospital. He is declared a hero but, following Winston's view that the robbers' accomplices may be out to get him, decides to remain anonymous.

1985 Christmas special
Title Airdate Description
Untitled 26 December 1985 Rita has come to stay but announces her intention to go back home on Christmas Eve. In order to persuade her to stay and help him look after Else, Alf falls off a ladder and claims to have injured his leg. However, whilst Rita does stay, the knees up at the Christmas Day party goes so well that Alf's enthusiastic participation soon exposes his supposedly bad leg as nothing more than a ruse.

Series 2 (Series 10)
Title Airdate Description
Episode 1 4 September 1986 Else has died and Alf and Rita with friends and neighbours including landlady Mrs Hollingbery return from the funeral for the wake. With Else gone his pension will be halved yet the bills remain the same and Mrs Hollingbury surprises everybody by revealing that Alf has finally lost faith in the Conservatives and persuaded her to vote Labour with him at the last election. She also shows her racist side, provoking Rita's displeasure but being calmed down with an ironic kiss from Winston. However, when the mourners leave and he's alone, he breaks down at the sight of her now empty wheelchair.
Episode 2 11 September 1986 When Rita and Winston come in at night making a noise, Mrs. Hollingbery decides to start locking the front door of the flats at 10:30. But can Alf make it back from the pub in time?
Episode 3 18 September 1986 Mrs. Hollingbery's obsession with locking doors takes on new dimensions when she even locks Alf into his own flat but then he needs to go to toilet. Meanwhile, the shopkeeper wants to call in Elsa's debts, and the milkman has some news about her gambling.
Episode 4 25 September 1986 Alf gets fed up with everybody having a Sunday roast except him, so he makes his first trip to a supermarket. However, he's forgotten he can't cook.
Episode 5 2 October 1986 Rita buys Alf a second-hand jacket, and when he notices it is covered in medals he uses it to try to gain all sorts of favours under false pretences. He also gets a visit from canvassing politicians.
Episode 6 9 October 1986 Min Reed and her sister visit Alf and end up staying for a few days. This provokes the jealousy of Mrs. Hollingbery who has grown found of Alf without admitting it.

1986 Christmas special
Title Airdate Description
Untitled 23 December 1986 Its Alf's first Christmas since Else died, and he is furious when Rita jets off to Spain for a second honeymoon leaving him alone. This is Una Stubbs last ever episode playing Rita

Series 3 (Series 11)
Title Airdate Description
Episode 1 22 October 1987 Having got himself a free teas-maid by causing a scene in an electrical shop Alf goes home to open a private letter to Rita, telling her her divorce from Mike has come through. He is overjoyed as he thinks she will move into the spare room and look after him. However she is planning to marry local doctor Thompson so Alf reluctantly is forced to let Winston have the room instead. To compound Alf's joy Fred Johnson has made sure the teas-maid goes off in the night and wakens all the street.
Episode 2 29 October 1987 After holding forth in the pub on how foreigners have brought AIDS to England Alf and his friend Arthur visit a sex shop, where Arthur steals a pornographic magazine but gives it to Alf to mind for him. When Mrs Hollingbery finds it Alf blames it on Winston and tries to have him evicted but Arthur puts his foot in it by turning up at the house asking for his book just as it is being torn up.
Episode 3 5 November 1987 Alf decides to invest in his own phone but quickly finds himself at war with Mrs Hollingbery over its use as she claims ownership as she is the householder. With the phone being cordless they are frequently hiding it from each other and Winston's calls to Jamaica are no help whilst Alf's delight in trying out his new acquisition by ringing everybody he knows leads to friction with Arthur's wife and injury for Fred Johnson.
Episode 4 12 November 1987 Min and Gwenneth pay Alf another visit, Gwenneth as confused as ever as she mistakes Alf for a doctor and takes her skirt off and, in the pub, mistakes Arthur for an old boyfriend. Back at the house the sisters hold a seance which Winston and his boyfriend use to make Alf believe he is possessed by an evil spirit before faking a conversation with God, who persuades Alf to give the women his bed for the night.
Episode 5 19 November 1987 At the local old time dance afternoon Alf is challenged to fight ageing Lothario Fancy Fred by two merry widows who end up fighting each other but Alf has his chance to threaten Fred when Fred parks his van on the pavement outside the house. However, when Alf gets his legs wedged on the window ledge as he tries to clean the window Arthur and Winston see Fred's van as a means of escape. Fred has other ideas though and Alf has a landing of a different sort.
Episode 6 26 November 1987 On a boiling hot summer day Alf goes to the DHSS to complain that he should have had more money in last winter's heating allowance for living in an end terrace but it cuts no ice. Back home he joins his friends watching cricket on television and falls asleep, loudly dreaming that he has been knighted for his services to the game. He wakes up to general derision and the knowledge that he has been exposed for stealing the eggs from next door's hens.

1987 Christmas special
Title Airdate Description
Untitled 25 December 1987 Alf is spending Christmas in hospital for a hip replacement but his visitors' scare stories of what could go wrong propel him into fleeing from the ward dressed as a woman - which incurs a drunk's unwanted attention. Back at the house he is outraged when Mrs Hollingbery's sister turns up after his room, being told that he is not expected to live, but all is forgiven when Mrs Hollingbery invites everybody upstairs for a Christmas party. Unfortunately he has forgotten the loose stair rod and ends up back in the hospital.

Series 4 (Series 12)
Title Airdate Description
Episode 1 7 September 1989 Alf has had his hip operation and Winston has moved out, replaced by his straight cousin Pele. However some things never change, such as Alf's continuing feud with Mrs Hollingbery, particularly as she hogs his television. Things could be about to change, though, as Arthur points out to Alf that he could be a very rich man by marrying the widow and he sets about wooing her.
Episode 2 14 September 1989 Encouraged by Arthur Alf continues to pursue Mrs Hollingbery, even going down on one knee to propose though she wants time to think. After a night in the pub a surprise engagement party is thrown for the still - undecided - couple but when Mrs Hollingbery learns that, as a husband and wife, they could buy the house for twenty thousand pounds when its market value is five times that she is quick to accept.
Episode 3 21 September 1989 Alf prepares a lavish meal for Arthur who has just come up with eight score draws on the football pools. Unfortunately he has won nothing as his stupid wife failed to post the coupon. There is further despondency as Alf realises he may be too old to acquire a mortgage to buy the house and the idea of his adopting Pele, who'll get it for him, does not appeal. Fortunately salvation arrives when Mrs Hollingbery gets a letter from her brother in Australia, who is happy to buy the house for her - providing that he meets and approves of the groom-to-be.
Episode 4 28 September 1989 It's the eve of Alf and Mrs Hollingbery's trip down under - taking Arthur for company. In the pub the Johnsons have one of their increasingly public rows and Alf is not cheered when everybody places a book on whether the plane will crash. Back home he gets into an argument about noise with just about everybody before admitting to himself that he would really rather not go to Australia.
Episode 5 5 October 1989 On the flight to Australia Arthur, Alf and Mrs Hollingbery are nervous passengers though Alf's argument with a steward who forbids him to smoke breaks the monotony. On arrival Alf argues with a man who turns out to be Mrs H's brother Ricky but, back at his house, he bonds with Alf over their shared racism. Neither Alf nor Mrs Hollingbery are happy when they are given a double room and Ricky gets the wrong idea when Alf says he wants to room with Arthur. This episode and the next two were videotaped in Australia by the ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) in a joint production with the BBC.
Episode 6 12 October 1989 The three visitors have a day sight-seeing, starting in a cafe where Alf defends Hitler. After Alf has rowed with a lazy lifeguard over a non-existent drowning victim, the trio take a boat trip and Alf soon discovers that he and his bride-to-be hold differing views on many things. As far as Alf is concerned, one thing is for sure though. Australians are descended from convicts and they are still not to be trusted.
Episode 7 19 October 1989 The sight-seeing continues with Alf having a confrontation with a crocodile and some Aboriginals, who nonetheless get the better of him after he tries to patronise them. Back at Ricky's Alf gets a business proposition from Ricky and his partner Mooney but it is apparent that they have misunderstood Alf's financial position and soon the three Brits are on the plane back home.

1989 Christmas special
Title Airdate Description
Untitled 25 December 1989 Facing another Christmas with a frugal dinner Alf cons the vicar into giving him a Christmas hamper but Mrs Hollingbery refuses to accept it because it has been dishonestly obtained. So Alf takes it to the pub to raffle, making sure that most of the slips of paper with the winning name on bear his. However he is outwitted at the last minute by the equally devious Bert Luscombe.

Series 5 (Series 13)
Title Airdate Description
Episode 1 1 September 1990 As a result of a power cut Alf and Mrs Hollingbery repair to the candle-lit pub where Alf sounds off about Margaret Thatcher, despite her being a Conservative, and a general argument breaks out with Arthur and Fred Johnson about a number of things - including death, the undertaker at the next table unsettling Alf. When he and Mrs Hollingbery return home after the lights have gone back on Alf rails at her for wasting electricity before fusing all the electrics in the house.
Episode 2 8 September 1990 They may be halfway up the aisle but Alf and his bride-to-be are still arguing, especially when she wants to throw out his furniture as being tat. A fake overdose attempt cuts no ice so Alf is off to the pub to talk about suicide, death and heaven - though Fred Johnson, as an atheist, is having none of it. Back home Alf tries another pretend suicide but is diverted when Mrs Hollingbery brings him in a roast dinner and a can of beer - plus more Aspirin in case he runs out.
Episode 3 15 September 1990 Complaining that Alf is a shabby dresser, Mrs Hollingbery also wants him to take out life insurance in case he goes first. In the pub a discussion on health does anything but allay Mr Carey's fears about getting a hip replacement in view of Alf's horror stories about hospital. Another row between the Johnsons prompts Alf to surmise that Fred is a poisoner, leading to Mrs Hollingbery getting her own back by pretending to poison Alf.
Episode 4 22 September 1990 Alf decides to earn some money by working for Mrs Carey as a window cleaner. He fails to get any wages but gets lots of free groceries after catching the milkman in a compromising position. Later Arthur wins the jackpot on the fruit machine at the British Legion but he and Alf decide to split it and keep quiet about it. Baffled by the presence of the groceries and informed by Alf that he has no money for her Mrs Hollingbery is not pleased when Fred tells everybody what really happened.
Episode 5 29 September 1990 Alf and Arthur are in the pub recalling old times and Alf is not impressed when Arthur tells him that he was once the local Romeo and the celebrity captain of the juniors football team. He is even less impressed when everybody else who comes in, especially Mrs Hollingbery, are fawning over Arthur and seeking autographs. Alf then gets a job as a dog walker but the two large dogs get him into trouble with an irate housewife and end up injuring him.
Episode 6 6 October 1990 Alf is initially nervous when he receives a brown envelope but swells with pride when he sees that it is calling him up for jury service, a fact which causes him to lord it in the pub. However, when Fred tells him of a juror who was hospitalised for sending a man down and he believes he is being followed by a sinister stalker, Alf finds himself besieged in a strange house.
Episode 7 13 October 1990 As Alf's day as a juror approaches he sounds off in the pub about his views on justice, inevitably inviting opposing comments from Mr Carey, who believes that the system is corrupt and imprisons the innocent and Fred, who, once more frightens him with tales of retribution from aggrieved villains. By the time he takes his place in the jury box - his trousers wrongly ironed by Mrs Hollingbery - Alf has a plan to preserve his anonymity, a false beard.
Episode 8 20 October 1990 Alf organizes a pensioners' outing, immediately falling foul of the bus driver as all the passengers have bus passes which delays the start. In the course of the trip Alf almost has a fight with an Irishman, directs all the ladies to use the gents' toilets to prevent queueing and is rewarded with a glimpse of the queen. Come evening all the pensioners are drunk and noisy, which leaves the driver dreading the trip back home
Episode 9 27 October 1990 The happy couple discuss their forthcoming wedding, a marriage of convenience in every sense as they intend to each remain in their own flat and the bride has no desire for sex, despite Alf's boasts about his youthful prowess. That night a terrible storm dislodges a box of money Alf has been hiding in the chimney. To Alf's annoyance Mrs Hollingbery claims half of it.
Episode 10 3 November 1990 After baffling the Catholic priest who will be marrying him to Mrs Hollingbery with thoughts on separate heavens Alf goes on his stag night where his friends have had a whip round for a cheap cutlery set and the bride comes in to take him home whilst he is enjoying himself with the stripper. Next day everybody assembles for the wedding but, on learning that he wants her to 'obey' him Mrs H jilts Alf at the altar, complaining about his cheap skate ways. Fred thinks he has had a lucky escape but Alf disagrees, claiming that he could have been watching West Ham instead.

1990 Christmas special
Title Airdate Description
Untitled 30 December 1990 Following the non-wedding the happy couple hold separate receptions with their same sex friends but just before Christmas Mrs Hollingbery goes to confession, the priest telling her that she has wronged Alf and should do penance. To Alf this means cooking and cleaning for him and, to make her feel guilty, pretends he had booked a luxury honeymoon for them. Mrs H however rebels and, when the priest visits to make her do further penance, makes sure she gets her money's worth.

Series 6 (Series 14)
Title Airdate Description
Episode 1 21 February 1992 A year later and Alf is still living under the same roof as - and bickering with - Mrs Hollingbery, particularly over her scrounging friend Michael. Alf really loses it when the alarm on a car parked outside his house goes off and decides to teach the driver a lesson, though of course it rebounds on him and his efforts to get revenge on the workmen digging a hole outside the house are equally as ineffectual.
Episode 2 28 February 1992 Alf gets a job pushing the wheelchair to deliver papers but, after he has played a prank on an irate householder, a storm blows his papers away so he decides to gain efficiency by hooking his wheelchair to the milk float. Unfortunately he goes careering downhill - into the swimming pool of a black footballer he recently abused. There is reconciliation but a further misadventure with the chair lands him in a removals van on its way to Newcastle.
Episode 3 6 March 1992 After holding forth on moral issues Alf goes to the pub where the big news is that Fred Johnson's wife has left him for her lesbian lover. To make matters worse she intends to move her into the marital home. Alf, of course, blames the French for introducing permissiveness into the country and ends up getting threatened by Mrs Johnson for his pains.
Episode 4 13 March 1992 Mrs Hollingbery is laid up with a bad leg and Alf is not happy having to fend for himself so he makes an angry trip to the doctor. When the doctor comes to visit he finds himself beset by the Careys and Michael wanting advice for their ailments, leading to the doctor himself needing an ambulance. Later Alf takes Mrs Hollingbery out in her wheelchair and witnesses a blessed miracle as she gets up and runs - to the toilet.
Episode 5 20 March 1992 When Alf gets stuck inside the wardrobe he is moving for Mrs Hollingbery he overhears her telling Mrs Carey she only wanted to marry him for his money so he takes all the cash he has been hoarding to the bank. The notes are so old they are no longer legal tender and having accumulated so much undeclared cash might cause problems with the tax office. Fortunately Alf sees a way round such matters.
Episode 6 27 March 1992 Having deposited his wealth in several banks under assumed names Alf makes a hefty withdrawal but comes home to find his furniture has been stolen so he buys more and chains it down. Anxious to know how long he has left he visits a Harley Street doctor who books him into a private clinic, which soon becomes the scene of a good old knees up for Alf and his friends.
Episode 7 3 April 1992 As Alf celebrates his wealth with a new snooker table he takes Fred as a lodger and gets a visit from Min, still amorously pursuing him. He also gets a visit from the bank manager, who has brought the tax man to investigate why Alf is so wealthy. Alf persuades Michael and Fred to impersonate him and explain everything was won in competitions. He nearly gets away with it too.

Films

Christmas Night with the Stars

Christmas Night with the Stars was a special screened annually on Christmas night, in which the top stars of the BBC appeared in short—typically five- to ten-minute—versions of their programmes. Till Death Us Do Part was among the programmes featured in the 1967 and 1971 specials. No recordings of either of these two segments are known to exist.

Title Airdate Description Notes
1967 sketch 25 December 1967 black-and-white; missing
1971 sketch 25 December 1971 colour; missing

Other
  • Royal Variety Performance sketch (1972),

The Thoughts of Chairman Alf (1994 BMG - not shown on TV), An Audience with Alf Garnett (5 Apr 1997 LWT), A Word with Alf (1997 - a series of short episodes for UK Gold made by Carlton starring Mitchell, McSharry and Brian Murphy), The Thoughts of Chairman Alf (23 Sep-4 Nov 1998 LWT).

References
  1. "DISCOVERY 262: Till Death Us Do Part - Sex Before Marriage".
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