Lusthog Squad

Corporal/Sergeant/Private James T. 'Joker' Davis: The protagonist and narrator of the book, Joker receives a meritorious promotion to Private First Class upon completing recruit training. During a tour of duty in Vietnam, he is dispatched to join the Lusthog Squad in Hue along with his photographer, Lance Corporal Compton ("Rafter Man"). Promoted from Corporal to Sergeant before starting this assignment, Joker survives an encounter with a female sniper in the Citadel and mercy-kills her before returning with his report. Not long afterward, he incurs the wrath of a colonel for wearing an unauthorized peace sign button on his uniform; as a result, Joker is assigned to the squad as a fireteam leader and transferred to Khe Sanh. While the squad is on patrol in the surrounding jungle, a sniper shoots and wounds three of its members. Cowboy promotes Joker to squad leader before running into the ambush to kill the men. He is shot through the hand before he can kill himself, so Joker shoots him through the eye and leads the team away. By the start of The Phantom Blooper, he has been demoted to Private for failing to recover Cowboy's body.

Lance Corporal "Rafter Man" Compton: A "New Guy" photographer who works with Joker, Rafter Man is constantly shocked by the horrors of war as he witnesses the start of the Tet Offensive and accompanies Joker to Hue. His nickname comes from an incident at an enlisted men's club in which he climbed up into the rafters for a better view of the stage, then fell onto the table of a visiting general. He mortally wounds the female sniper in the Citadel, counting her as his first confirmed kill even though Joker finishes her off. This first taste of combat greatly excites Rafter Man, but he is greatly disturbed upon seeing his own expression reflected in a broken window afterward. While returning to Phu Bai with Joker, the still-shocked Rafter Man runs into the path of a tank and is fatally crushed by its treads.

Sergeant John "Cowboy" Rucker: Cowboy is Joker's oldest and best friend. The two meet during recruit training at Parris Island, where Cowboy laughs at Joker's jokes. Later on in 1968, when the two cross paths in Da Nang, Cowboy holds the rank of Sergeant and is serving as the assistant squad leader. He takes command when the leader, Crazy Earl, is killed in a suicidal attack on an enemy position. After being wounded at the Citadel by the female sniper, he leaves Animal Mother temporarily in command. In the jungle, Cowboy sacrifices himself by shooting all his wounded men so that nobody else will run into the trap to save them. Before he can kill himself, though, the sniper shoots him through the hand and wounds him repeatedly. Joker then kills him, having been given command of the squad. His last words are an ambiguous rant: "I NEVER LIKED YOU, JOKER. I NEVER THOUGHT YOU WERE FUNNY--". Joker takes Cowboy's pearl-grey Stetson hat as a souvenir, wearing it and carrying it with him throughout The Phantom Blooper. Cowboy presents himself as being from Dallas, but Joker learns in this second book that he had actually lived in Kansas.

Animal Mother: A former platoon sergeant, Animal Mother was demoted to Private after he gave the finger to a colonel. Described as monstrous and giant, he carries an M60 machine gun at all times and wears an ammunition belt across his chest "like a big Mexican bandit." He is a rapist and shows no mercy to anyone. Nonetheless, he remains loyal to all Marines and is willing to sacrifice himself for them. Animal Mother joined the Marines after he was arrested on an auto theft charge and offered the choice of enlistment or a prison sentence. In the jungle encounter with the sniper, Animal Mother nearly shoots Joker, with whom he shares bitter friction, but then obeys him after Cowboy gives him command of the squad. In The Phantom Blooper, Joker learns that Animal Mother was captured by the Viet Cong, but escaped from a POW camp and is back on active duty at Camp Pendleton.

Alice: Also nicknamed "Midnight Buccaneer", "Ace of Spades" and "Jungle Bunny" by Cowboy, Animal Mother and Joker, respectively. As the "point man" of the squad, he walks in front of all others and is keen on sensing danger and noticing booby-traps. He believes in voodoo and cuts off his kills' feet with his machete, carrying them in a blue shopping bag. The "Alice" nickname stems from the fact that his favorite record album is Alice's Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie. He is the first to step into the jungle ambush (because Cowboy hurried him), and is mercy-killed by Cowboy after being wounded multiple times.

Donlon: The radioman of the Lusthog Squad, he is portrayed as somewhat sensitive (crying over the dead). Donlon can be something of a nuisance, since he insists on doing his job as a radioman during even the most dangerous situations. He is nearly killed by the sniper in the jungle; the bullet smashes his radio before he is pulled away by Joker. In The Phantom Blooper, Joker finds him living in California, studying political science at UCLA and protesting the war. The two attend an antiwar demonstration that is forcefully broken up by the police, resulting in Donlon losing an eye. His first name is given as "Tom" in The Short-Timers, and as "Bob" in The Phantom Blooper.

Doc Jay: The corpsman of the team, Doc Jay claims to have "magic hands" and, if it were up to him, would stay in Vietnam forever to help out even the dead. He is approaching the end of his second year in Vietnam and, according to Joker, was greatly traumatized after his unsuccessful effort to save the life of an officer who had fallen victim to an explosive booby trap. He runs into the jungle ambush to give first aid to Alice and is repeatedly shot by the sniper as well. He then performs a tracheotomy on the fallen New Guy, and is subsequently mercy-killed by Cowboy. Referred to as "Doc J-for-Joint" in The Phantom Blooper.

Crazy Earl: The squad leader before Cowboy, he is a frail, sick man who, during Joker's blackout at the Citadel, goes crazy and starts shooting at the enemy with a BB gun. He is killed during this frenzy, and Cowboy takes charge of the squad afterward.

T.H.E. Rock: Rock is nicknamed thus due to a small quartz rock he wears around his neck, allegedly for identifying him in case he should die in battle. He does die at the Citadel, shot in the head by the female sniper. The squad then takes on a personal vendetta on the sniper and kills her.

Lt. Robert M. "Mr. Shortround" Bayer III: Commander of the platoon that includes this squad, Bayer came by his nickname due to his small stature. He welcomes Joker and Rafter Man into the squad and is killed by a friendly grenade (Animal Mother's) during the Citadel attack, while trying to rescue a fallen Marine.

Lance Corporal Stutten: Stutten is a fireteam leader and sides with Animal Mother during the jungle ambush, disregarding Joker's orders. By the start of The Phantom Blooper, he has been discharged and is living in New Jersey, raising a child with a harelip.

Private Henry "New Guy" Parker: The newest member of the squad when the jungle ambush occurs, he charges into the killing zone in an effort to rescue Doc Jay and Alice. He sustains a bullet wound to the neck, receives an emergency tracheotomy from Doc Jay, and is then mercy-killed by Cowboy.

Out of the above members of the original Lusthog Squad, the only ones to survive the novel are Joker, having been promoted to sergeant and squad leader, along with Animal Mother (who takes the point), Donlon the radioman, and Lance Corporal Stutten. Several other members are mentioned only in passing; some of these recur in The Phantom Blooper.

• The last two thirds of the book are merged into the last end of the movie adaptation; thus, many of the events and fates of the characters are redistributed. There is only one "sniper showdown" in the movie, and Alice (renamed Eightball) and Doc Jay fall victims of it. Cowboy, instead of sacrificing himself and mercy-killing them, is shot through the back by the sniper while calling for backup. After Rafter Man and Joker kill the sniper, the movie ends, whereas in the book Rafter Man is run over and split in half by a tank. Likewise, Crazy Earl does not die from a booby-trapped toy, but rather goes crazy and is killed during his frenzy. T.H.E. Rock survives in the movie, whereas he is shot in the head by the first sniper in the book.
• Shortround, Stutten, and Parker do not appear in the film, replaced by the original characters of Lieutenant Walter "Touchdown" Schinowski, Sergeant Murphy (a cameo by Stanley Kubrick), and Handjob. Touchdown and Handjob are killed in an ambush upon entering Huế, while Murphy survives.