Never Too Old

A wedding between Lance Corporal Jones and Mrs Fox is announced and takes place, but the reception is interrupted as the platoon are put on full invasion alert.

Mrs Fox stops by the church hall in search of Lance Corporal Jones, but she is met by Private Godfrey who tells her that the rest of the platoon has gone for a march and will not be back for some time. Mrs Fox then tells Godfrey that she was going to call Jones to "put him out of his misery."

When the Platoon arrive back, they notice that Jones is missing. Pike and Fraser then reveal that he failed to turn right on the march and just kept walking straight. Jones then arrives late in a very cheerful mood and asks Mainwaring for a heart to heart, man to man talk. He reveals to Mainwaring and Wilson that he has asked Mrs Fox to marry him, and wants Mainwaring's permission to do so. Mainwaring agrees, and Mrs Fox telephones and tells Jones that she will marry him.

At the wedding ceremony, Mainwaring has agreed to give Mrs Fox away and Wilson has agreed to be best man. The reception follows, and Mainwaring is surprised when Wilson turns up in his old uniform from the last war (having been forced to so by Mrs Pike who has hidden his trousers), revealing he was a captain. Wilson is then surprised when he learns he must toast the Matron-of-Honour, Mrs Pike.

A much needed change of pace is welcome when everyone celebrated the goodness of the wedding, but it is drastically cut short when the Colonel informs Mainwaring of an invasion alert, and thinks it may not be a bluff. Jones and Pike are then sent to keep watch at the pier where Mrs Fox comes to meet them. While Jones and Mrs Fox are discussing their future, Mainwaring and the rest of the platoon arrive with a bottle of champagne to drink to Jones good health. Hodges interrupts them and tells them that the invasion alert was a false alarm and the stand-down had been given half an hour earlier — adding that it's just as well, because Mainwaring and his platoon would be no good against real soldiers. After Hodges leaves, Mainwaring, Wilson, Jones, Fraser, Pike and Godfrey all agree that no-one is getting past them and that there are hundreds of men just like them who are willing to fight for their freedom. Wilson suggests that they make a toast to the Home Guard. Mainwaring agrees and the platoon raise their glasses as they turn towards the camera to say in unison: "To Britain's Home Guard".

• Arthur Lowe as Captain Mainwaring
• John Le Mesurier as Sergeant Wilson
• Clive Dunn as Lance Corporal Jones
• John Laurie as Private Frazer
• Arnold Ridley as Private Godfrey
• Ian Lavender as Private Pike
• Bill Pertwee as ARP Warden Hodges
• Frank Williams as The Vicar
• Edward Sinclair as The Verger
• Pamela Cundell as Mrs Fox
• Janet Davies as Mrs Pike
• Colin Bean as Private Sponge
• Joan Cooper as Dolly
• Robert Raglan as The Colonel

1. Edward Sinclair, who had played the Verger since first appearing in "The Showing Up of Corporal Jones" in series 1, died not long after the recording of this episode, which contributed to the decision to end the series.