The Goldbergs (season 4)

Adam runs into a junior at the high school, and remembers her as the cute "Waffle Girl" (Brec Bassinger) who served their family at a restaurant a few years ago. He wants to ask her out, but feels he has to look like a "player" first. Taking a tip from the Brady Bunch episode in which Jan Brady made up the fake boyfriend George Glass, Adam makes up the girlfriend Lampie Tableman. Erica makes fun of Adam and says his plan will never work, but she soon pulls a "George Glass" of her own, making up a college-age boyfriend named Jordan Wahlberg (combining the names of two members of New Kids on the Block) in hopes that Geoff Schwartz will become jealous. Adam's plan goes into high gear as he has Dave Kim create fake hickies with a vacuum, but Dave makes too many, causing Adam to have Dave shoot him with a paintball gun to explain away the marks. Waffle Girl sees Adam at that moment, and says she too likes paintball. She invites Adam on a paintball date, but Adam gets scared while playing and makes a fool of himself. At school, Evey and the JTP shoot holes in Erica's fake boyfriend story when some of her facts don't add up. Meanwhile, Barry wants badly to go to Live Aid in Philadelphia, but Murray says no. Barry refuses Beverly's offer of tickets to see The Beach Boys, with neither he nor Beverly realizing the Beach Boys are on the bill at Live Aid. Murray has to go with Beverly instead, but he gets into an argument over a parking space, causing them to miss the concert. Beverly chastises her husband for his stubbornness, and insists he take her to Chi-Chi's for dinner, a place which Murray has vowed to never go. Murray caves and goes to Chi-Chi's, but his stubbornness ruins that, too. With Erica's life about to be ruined at school, a handsome young man claiming to be Jordan Wahlberg pulls up and—in full view of Evey and Geoff—makes reference to a frat party they attended together. Erica then breaks up with the guy. Realizing Adam helped her, she asks him why. Adam explains that Waffle Girl was just a crush for him, but what his sister feels for Geoff is real.

After constantly missing phone calls and messages, Murray buys an answering machine. Erica and Barry want to use a Crazy Calls cassette tape to have a funny voice as callers leave a message, but they have to settle for their dad's voice. Murray then gets one for Pop-Pop, and they get into their own message war from not wanting to talk to each other on the phone or face to face. Frustrated with the phone always being tied up, Erica erases the message tape, but soon sees her father is depressed over not having any new messages from Pop-Pop. Meanwhile, Beverly is worried about Adam's social standing as a freshman in high school, especially when he can't find a group to sit with in the cafeteria during lunch. He then joins up with the nerds in the computer lab, who eat their lunch while playing old school RPG games. Beverly, thinking her son has settled for spending time with computer geeks, sabotages his time in the lab by "cheesing" the disk drive, which gets Adam kicked out. She then devises a plan to have the cool kids be nice to him, but Adam sees through it. After Adam tells Beverly he actually enjoyed having lunch in the computer lab, Beverly makes a deal with Johnny Atkins to take the blame for the cheesed drive, and gets Adam's nerdy friends back.

Murray has two tickets to a Harlem Globetrotters game and wants to take Barry, but Barry has pneumonia and cannot go. Murray is forced to take Adam, who isn't thrilled about going, but Adam's attitude quickly changes when he sees how funny the Globetrotters are. Despite their lack of athletic ability, Adam and his pals start working on their own versions of Globetrotters routines, which angers Barry because sports are "his thing". Soon, Barry makes a list of his interests and hobbies that Adam is not allowed to participate in, but Adam becomes defiant. The fight boils over into a winner-takes-all basketball game, which Barry wins much to Adam's dismay. Barry later apologizes and states that he felt threatened by Adam's newfound interest in the Globetrotters, and agrees to share it with him. Meanwhile, Beverly plans a "surprise" 50th birthday party for Murray. Knowing that Murray isn't big on parties, Beverly lets him in on the surprise so that he will be prepared to spend a night with friends and family. On the day of the event, Murray plans to take a quick nap before the party, but falls asleep for two hours, angering Beverly. Having hurt his wife, Murray later surprises Beverly by organizing a re-do of his own 50th birthday party.

Beverly has a one-month substitute assignment for a class that includes Barry. Inspired by the film Dead Poets Society, she tries to make a difference in changing the attitudes of her students, but they actively resist. At home, Beverly constantly grills Barry with chemistry questions, but he says he doesn't need to learn it because he plans to marry Kathy Ireland and live off her wealth. Murray takes a different tactic, convincing Barry that Beverly really has no interest in him learning because she wants to keep him at home forever. This inspires Barry to actually try to learn chemistry, and he begins to lead study sessions with the JTP. When Barry finds out that his dad lied to him, he vows to go back to the way things were, and Beverly is devastated that Barry's interest in science was fueled by his resentment of her. Murray later finds Barry hiding a physics book under his mattress. Barry admits he is now interested in science, and thinks he's found a subject he can excel at. He is ashamed, but Murray reassures him and reveals that Beverly believed in him from the start. Barry, the JTP and several classmates decide to stand on desks like from Dead Poets Society, overjoying Beverly. Elsewhere, a note is passed around Adam's class, landing in his hands when Mr. Glascott forces him to read it aloud. Adam does so, and reveals it was written by a guy who has noticed Emmy Mirsky's "blossoming" body, which embarrasses Emmy. Adam tries to convince Emmy that guys go through the same thing, especially when it comes to "shirts and skins" in gym class, but Emmy insists it's not the same. Erica assures Adam that ninth grade girls are very body-conscious, so he asks her for help in making things right with Emmy. Adam expects Erica to just write a nice apology letter for him, but she instead conspires with Mr. Mellor to make Adam a "skin for life" in gym. When Adam confronts Erica about this, Erica reveals that when she went through ninth grade, she went through the same exact thing as Emmy, but had no one to come to for support, and that Emmy does but Adam is shutting her out. Adam eventually shows his support for Emmy when he confronts two seniors (Johnny Atkins and JC Spink) who make wisecracks about Emmy's "nice rack".

The Goldberg children get a day off from school due to heavy snow, and plan to spend it doing whatever they want. However, Beverly insists that Erica use the time to write her college essay and Murray orders Barry and Adam to shovel snow. Erica says she's already written an essay about a hero of hers, but won't say whom. Beverly searches Erica's room and finds the essay, titled "My Mother, My Hero". She goes overboard and wants to partake in every aspect of Erica's life. Erica retaliates by saying she will write an essay about herself, believing she has heroically escaped growing up with a "smother". This leads to a race to the mailbox and Erica destroying the first letter, devastating Beverly, who reveals that the first letter was the only proof she had that Erica still wanted her in her life. Erica assures her this isn't the case, and tells Beverly she would be lucky to grow up to be just like her mother. Meanwhile, Barry and Adam defy Murray by building a snow fort instead of shoveling the driveway. When an angry Murray gets stuck in the entrance to the fort and panics, the boys see their dad as vulnerable for the first time. They try to use this to their advantage by disobeying every order Murray gives them. Murray goes along with it, saying they will need him someday. "Someday" comes only two hours later, when the boys have a mishap while doing some "tailgate sledding". The boys apologize and the family has a snowball fight on the lawn.

Adam is upset when Chad Kremp can't devote any more time to "Chadam Productions", their movie-making venture, because he's on the tennis team and constantly has to leave to practice. Adam joins the team and insists he be double partners with Chad, but Adam is terrible at tennis. Adam is further upset when he sees that Chad has partnered with Dave Kim the next day, leaving him behind. Adam goes to his "sports guru" brother, Barry, for help. Barry is excited to play, claiming he will be the next Andre Agassi. Barry gets the Agassi hair and outfit down, but is also terrible at playing tennis. However, after complaining about a call Mr. Mellor makes, it appears that Barry makes a very good John McEnroe. This leads to Chad having a meltdown on the tennis court and getting into a giant fight with Adam. Elsewhere, Valentine's Day finds the lonely Erica completely giving up on her appearance, apparently content to wallow through her senior year in self-pity over losing her chance with Geoff Schwartz to Evy Silver. With Mr. Glascott's help, Beverly holds an intervention to get the "old Erica" back, but it's unsuccessful. Beverly then takes Erica to a discotheque, which is empty because disco music is no longer popular. Beverly tries to get Erica to dance and lift her spirits, but this has minimal effect. Erica later runs into Geoff and Evy, and Evy shows pity for Erica. It's the last straw and Erica reverts back to her old self, deciding to organize a "Disco Is Dead" party and inviting the whole school. Beverly tries to shut it down, but Erica disobeys her. It doesn't matter, because the discotheque owner shuts it down when he learns that all the patrons will be underage. Seeing Erica down in the dumps again, Beverly says she can rescue the party and save her daughter's reputation. She shows Erica keys to the school and says she can sneak Erica and the invitees into the gym for a disco party. She does so and all the kids enjoy dancing. Mr. Glascott arrives and is mad that Beverly helped with the unauthorized party, but he can't resist the music; Mr. Glascott heads to the floor to dance and Beverly joins him. Around the same time, Adam visits Chad Kremp to apologize. Chad says he is not quitting Chadam Productions and will still make movies with Adam when time permits.

Barry asks Murray for money to buy a hot new boom box, but Dad says no, he must earn it. Barry and Erica are at the mall when they see a "help wanted" sign in the Spencer's Gifts store. Both apply and both get jobs. After one day working, it is clear that Barry is way more into novelty gifts than Erica and excels at talking customers into buying anything. This earns Barry a promotion, which irritates Erica, so she decides to sabotage him the next day at work. This backfires when Barry is fired for losing a bunch of bottled farts, which is not the result Erica wanted. She soon admits she was jealous of Barry and the ease with which he took to the job. Meanwhile, Barry sees that Adam already has the cool boom box, a gift from Beverly who says Adam is "special". She proclaims her schmoo doesn't need a job because he's going places with his movies. Trying to make things right with his siblings, Adam soon gets a job at the arcade in the mall. The arcade has a policy of giving a free quarter for each 'A' on a student's report card, and Adam gets bullied into dispensing quarters for a bunch of people with fake report cards, getting him quickly fired. This pleases Beverly, but Adam is not happy, saying he liked the job and wants to earn his keep like Barry and Erica. Adam then tries to win his job back by making a commercial for the arcade proprietor.

When Adam writes a review on The Karate Kid, one of his favorite movies, in the school newspaper, his classmates think the other Adam Goldberg wrote it because the article was missing Adam's middle initial. After finding out, Adam's 11th grade namesake challenges him to a fight, but fighting isn't allowed on school grounds so Coach Mellor decides to start a karate club. Meanwhile, after their first kiss, Erica and Geoff start sneaking around and stealing kisses behind Evelyn's back. They decide they want their relationship to go public, but Erica doesn't like the way they got together upon seeing how hurt Evelyn is. She reluctantly suggests to Geoff that they wait until it feels right. Adam turns to his "black belt" brother Barry for help, and Barry brings him to his sensei; Uncle Marvin. Like the movie, Marvin uses household chores and cleaning in place of karate techniques. Barry and Adam soon realize that they really weren't taught how to defend themselves, and go into the tournament not knowing anything. During the tournament, Beverly tells Barry to "sweep the leg" so that Adam can fake an injury and get out of fighting. However, Adam is sick of being bullied and Murray gives him a pep talk about how he used to be a bully until some kid bopped him one. Seeing Adam return to the gym, the other Adam admits he doesn't know how to fight either and was just hoping Adam would wuss out. Since they're both into acting, they act out the last scene of the film, ending by performing double crane kicks to each other. The contest is declared a tie, and they both get to keep their names. Later, Beverly, Marvin, Barry and Adam enroll for Karate classes in a dojo where the instructor, Sensei John (Martin Kove, who coached the evil Cobra Kai team in the movie) is a really good guy and teaches with love, kindness and mercy.

Featured Songs: "Glory of Love" by Peter Cetera, "You're the Best" by Joe Esposito

Barry is resistant when Geoff, Andy, and Rob want to induct the school's resident Deadhead, Matt Bradley, into the JTP. He tries to make it as hard as possible for Matt to pass the "initiation tests", but Matt does anyway. With Barry out-voted 4 to 3 (as leader; Barry's vote counts as three) the JTP goes to the Grateful Dead concert instead of the Fat Boys, which Barry wanted. Barry then tries to get the group kicked out of the concert, but to no avail. The other JTP members chastise Barry for being selfish, causing him to quit and try to start a different posse. When the member recruitments are a disaster, Barry apologizes and asks to be back in the JTP. (The closing sequence mentions that Matt Bradley wound up being Barry's best friend after high school and becoming the fifth member of the JTP.) At home, Adam yells out the F-bomb when Pops knocks over his video camera, and Beverly hears it. Beverly starts a "swear jar" that any family member must donate to if they use a curse word. Erica laughs at this, as Beverly is the worst offender in the family, and proclaims they'll soon have enough of Mom's money in the jar for a trip to The Bahamas. Erica even finds a way to get Murray to donate whenever he calls one of his kids a "moron" because it is hurtful. Beverly insists that any money be used for a trip to Colonial Williamsburg, which Erica and Adam strongly oppose. As Mom and Dad put in more money, they try to even things up by creating a "Baditude" jar for any time Erica says something sarcastic and condescending, plus an "Adam" jar for whenever Adam says something nerdy or refers to a science fiction movie. All-out "jar wars" ensue, and money starts going from jar to jar. Realizing they can't do anything other than be themselves, the group ceases the jar wars, while Erica and Adam relent and agree that another trip to Colonial Williamsburg won't be so bad.

Featured Song: "Touch of Grey" by The Grateful Dead

After Lainey announces she's been accepted by a fashion design school in Savannah, Georgia, Barry panics over the decision to follow his dream of being a doctor or follow his heart and stay with Lainey. He first considers fast-tracking his medical schooling, a la Doogie Howser, which Beverly surprisingly says is impossible. Barry then tries to take on the persona of fashion designer Baré, with the hopes of following Lainey to Georgia, and even presents a fashion show in the Goldberg home using the JTP as models. But Beverly has secretly consulted with Lainey, convincing her to do what is best for Barry and allow him to pursue a medical career, even if it means their relationship might end. Meanwhile, Erica and Adam become enraged that Murray seems to shower his dog Lucky with more love and attention than he does his kids. Erica sets out to prove it, but in cornering her dad with the information, he breaks out in a cry-whisper and says he is upset that she will be leaving for college soon. He remembers that when Erica was a little girl, she would always run into his arms when he came home from work, but now only Lucky does so. Erica tries to console her dad by saying she will look at colleges near Philadelphia, but Murray insists she needs to be on her own, and says he will support her efforts to attend the University of Miami.

With prom night approaching, Erica and Geoff badly want to go with each other but are still trying to take things slow on resuming their relationship. They decide to each ask out other people, so they can at least see each other at prom and hang out. Erica asks out Ruben Amaro Jr., while Carla asks Geoff to be her date, as she is mad at Johnny Atkins and is trying to make him jealous. Not long into the prom, Erica and Geoff end up with each other. Meanwhile, despite Barry's pleas, Lainey doesn't want to go to prom at all, seeing it as a painful reminder that their time together is getting shorter. Elsewhere, Adam falls hard for a junior named Jackie (Rowan Blanchard) when she appears to be as much into sci-fi/fantasy as he is. But a problem arises when Adam learns Jackie is a huge fan of The Lord of the Rings which he has never read. Adam is forced to read the CliffsNotes version of the book to converse with Jackie, but his lie is soon discovered.

Featured Song: "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper

Murray is dead set on having Erica attend his alma mater, Penn State University, and sets up an admissions interview for his daughter. Erica intentionally bombs the interview at Penn State, so her parents would have no choice but to approve her preferred college, Carnegie Mellon University. But Erica soon receives a rejection letter from Carnegie Mellon, making Penn State her only option left. Not to worry: Murray is a Penn State alumnus, so he will be able to smooth things over with the admissions official. The only problem is, Murray never graduated from Penn State, falling one credit short. Angry that Murray pushed college on her when he never even graduated, Erica tries to fulfill her dream of becoming famous by singing on the street in the rain. Murray visits and apologizes for being a hypocrite, and they make up. Meanwhile, Adam and Pops make a date to see the new Batman movie starring Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson. Barry badly wants to be included, but when they get to the theater, Pops and Adam take two seats in a row with no other seats available, forcing Barry to sit way up front by himself. Adam loves the movie, but Pops isn't thrilled because it isn't like the old Batman TV series starring Adam West. Seizing the opportunity, Barry tries to drive a wedge between Adam and Pops' friendship by taping Adam badmouthing the old Batman series and locking Adam in his room to prevent him from stopping him. When Barry shows Pops the video however, Pops sees it as an obvious ploy for his attention. Upset that his plan failed, Barry complains that Adam monopolizes all of Pops' time, and he always feels left out. To make it up, Adam and Pops ask Barry to play a villain in a Batman movie they are creating.

Murray is given the honor of being named businessman of the year. When Beverly sees what he listed as his accomplishments, she is embarrassed and refuses to let anyone see it. While Adam, Barry, and Erica wait for the venue to close, a golfer mistakes Barry for a caddy. Barry decides to do wild and crazy stunts with it. Adams asks Erica what he should do. Erica says she's going off to college, so she won't act as the voice of reason. The golf cart ends up in the middle of the lake, causing Barry to start a "Ponzi Scheme", by stealing golf carts and replacing the previous. Barry ends up getting pinned under the second one, while Adam panics. Erica shows up with the JTP and fixes the problem. She tells Adam that while she may be moving away, she will always be his big sister. Meanwhile, Murray decides to start couponing, in order to impress Beverly. She gets mad at his shopping style, and he says he only did this to make her realize that he was the same man she married. Beverly realized how much she hurt her husband, and says that she never wanted to hurt his feeling, and shows that she added to his accomplishments of all the things he does as a Dad.

Barry, Lainey, and the JTP watch The Day After with Murray, and feel the fear of a nuclear war. Barry tries to create a bunker, but Murray crushes Barry's dreams by becoming the new leader of the bunker, and preventing Barry from building his own. After realizing how afraid Barry is, Murray lets on that he too is afraid, and there is nothing they can do but live their lives here and now. Meanwhile, Erica and Adam fight for Beverly's affections with Mother's Day approaching. Each has an alternative agenda: Erica wants to go to Emory University in Georgia, while Adam wants to go with Jackie to the beach. Erica asks first and gets to go to the college of her dreams, so Adam sabotages it by making a video of Erica disappearing, and not being a part of the family. A heartbroken Beverly revokes her decision, Erica tells Adam off, and Jackie sides with Erica. Adam fixes the situation, causing him to miss out on going to the beach with Jackie, but she in turn gives him a second kiss.

Erica is growing tired of Beverly being sappy and nostalgic as her graduation day approaches, but Geoff helps her realize what a fantastic mom she has. Barry and Lainey make plans for a fun summer together before she heads off to college in Georgia. At the graduation ceremony, Barry overhears Bill Lewis say that Lainey is leaving in a few days, not a few months, causing Barry to confront Lainey on stage. They get into a fight and later, mutually realize their relationship has come to an end. When Erica has her turn, she refuses to accept her diploma as she's now realizing how much she will miss Beverly, leading to Principal Ball chasing her through the auditorium. Beverly is ecstatic that Erica wants to stay, but Murray tells her that he would rather she leave for four years than shelter her for the rest of her life. Realizing that Erica needs to go out into the world and experience life, Beverly tells Erica she needs to go to college, and tearfully tells her that she is going to change the world. Meanwhile, Adam and Jackie make plans to see Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach, and call each other boyfriend/girlfriend for the first time. Things become complicated when Dana Caldwell shows up at the movie theater, saying she's home for the summer. Adam doesn't know what to do, so he panics and runs away. Adam ends up seeing the movie with Dana and attempts to tell her he's with Jackie now, but it turns out he misinterpreted Dana's reason for looking him up. When Adam tells Jackie that Dana is just a part of his past, he learns that Jackie used to date Ruben Amaro Jr., making him worry. Adam later goes to Police Academy 5 with Barry and spots Jackie sitting alone. He sits next to her and the two patch things up.