The Husbands of River Song

In 5343 on the human colony of Mendorax Dellora, the Twelfth Doctor is mistaken by a servant, Nardole, for a surgeon hired by River Song to attend to her dying husband, King Hydroflax. River, who is unfamiliar with his new set of regenerations, fails to recognize the Doctor as she takes him aside and tells him to decapitate Hydroflax so she can claim the Halassi Androvar, the most valuable diamond in the universe, which has become lodged in the king’s brain.

However, they are interrupted by Hydroflax, who overhears them. Being a cyborg, he detaches his head from his mechanical body and orders it to kill them. While River defends herself, the Doctor grabs Hydroflax's head and threatens to put him in the garbage disposal, creating a stalemate and allowing Ramone, River's actual husband, to teleport her, the Doctor, and Hydroflax’s head outside. Believing Nardole to have information about River, Hydroflax’s body decapitates him to use his head as its own.

River and Ramone track down the TARDIS and attempt to take off with the Doctor, but the ship's safeguards prevent it from taking off when it detects that Hydroflax’s head and body, although separated, are still linked to one another. Left behind, Hydroflax’s body tricks and uploads Ramone before following a homing beacon emitted by his head. Using Ramone, it forces its way inside, causing the TARDIS to travel to the starship Harmony and Redemption, where River requests that the maître d’, Flemming, deadlock seal the baggage hold where the TARDIS landed to prevent Hydroflax’s body from pursuing them further.

Rather than return the diamond to the Halassi, River reveals that she intends to sell the diamond to a buyer named Scratch, who has secretly filled the meeting point with members of his own species. After receiving payment, River and the Doctor discover that Scratch and his compatriots worship Hydroflax and are after the diamond in his honour. Despite attempts to hide the bagged head containing the diamond, Flemming stops them from escaping, who was tricked into entering the baggage area by an under-duress Ramone but promises the Doctor's head to Hydroflax's body using River as bait. Sensing that Hydroflax's head will die imminently, his body destroys it, leaving only the diamond. Flemming interrogates River for the Doctor's whereabouts, but she explains that although she loves the Doctor, he does not reciprocate before realizing the Doctor was with her all along.

Being a time traveler, River knows the ship is about to be crippled by a meteor strike, which she uses as their escape plan, taking the diamond in the process. The Doctor uses Scratch’s universal bank transfer device to overload Hydroflax’s body before heading to the ship’s bridge. As the ship is crashing, River discovers that they are heading towards the planet Darillium, which the Doctor remembers is where she spends her last night with him before her death. Realizing that they cannot save the ship, River and the Doctor flee into the TARDIS, but the impact knocks her unconscious.

Having avoided taking River to Darillium for as long as possible, the Doctor decides to give in to the inevitable. After traveling to the next morning, the Doctor suggests to a man searching for survivors that he build a restaurant with a view of Darillium's Singing Towers, and gives him the diamond to fund its construction. Traveling forward in time once again, the Doctor books a table on the balcony for Christmas Day in four years’ time. When River awakens and exits the TARDIS into the restaurant, she is told that the Doctor is waiting for her. She encounters Hydroflax’s body, since salvaged and now peacefully controlled by Ramone and Nardole's heads, working as a waiter in the restaurant.

The Doctor gives River a sonic screwdriver. As the pair admire the Singing Towers, River asks whether this really is their last night together. The Doctor insists that there is no way to avoid the end of their times together and refuses to tell River the future, though he reveals one night on Darillium lasts for twenty-four years.

The episode had an official rating of 7.69 million viewers in the UK with a 33.9% share. The chart position was 8th for the week and 7th for Christmas Day.[14] The overnight rating was 5.77 million with a 29.4% share of the total TV audience at 5.15pm.[15] It received an Appreciation Index score of 82.[16]

Critical reception

Professional ratings

Aggregate scores
Source	Rating
Rotten Tomatoes (Average Score)	7.58[19]
Rotten Tomatoes (Tomatometer)	95%[19]
Review scores
Source	Rating
The A.V. Club	B[20]
Paste Magazine	8.2[21]
TV Fanatic	[22]
CultBox	[23]
IGN	8.4[24]
PopMatters	7/10[25]
New York Magazine	[26]
Radio Times	[27]
SciFiNow	[28]

The episode received positive reviews. It holds an approval rating of 95% on Rotten Tomatoes, based on 19 reviews, and an average score of 7.58. The critic's consensus reads "With The Husbands of River Song, Doctor Who delivers a Christmas special that perfectly balances silliness and heart."[19]

"The Husbands of River Song" was released on DVD and Blu-ray on 25 January 2016 in Region 2,[30] 27 January 2016 in Region 4,[31] and 23 February 2016 in Region 1.[32] A complete box set for the ninth series, including "The Husbands of River Song", was released on 7 March 2016 in Region 2, and 5 April 2016 in Region 1.[33][34]

Wikiquote has quotations related to: Twelfth Doctor

• "The Husbands of River Song" at the BBC Doctor Who homepage
• "The Husbands of River Song" on Tardis Data Core, an external wiki
• "The Husbands of River Song" at IMDb