Mad TV (season 9)

50 Cent (Spears) raps about 2003's lackluster summer blockbuster films in parody of "P.I.M.P"; Madonna (Collins) and Missy Elliott (Spears) promote their new line of Gap clothing; Marvin Tikvah (McDonald) hopes to sign two girls (Gaither, Weir); Connie Chung (Lee) hosts a live taping of the California Governors Debate; Rod Roddy (Caliendo) gets divorced at a dinner; Dot (Weir) is a guest on a Mr. Wizard-type children show; Matthew the Bible Dude (McDonald) fights the sin of online music piracy. Mýa performs "My Love Is Like...Wo".

Parody of Joe Boxer commercials has references to black slavery; Lorraine (Collins) tours Venice Beach; Shaq (Spears) introduces a cartoon called Shaq and The Super Lakers; a father (Meyers) takes his insecure son (Pederson) to Dr. Kylie's office; Jewel's (Collins) new video reveals that she sold out to the mainstream; Phil LaMarr guest appears on Real Motherfucking Talk Emmy Special; Clifford (Pederson) and Muriel (Weir) deliver the 7 A.M. Condo Report; Ike Barinholtz and Aries Spears interview celebrities at premiere for The Fighting Temptations.

Featuring: Daniele Gaither

Parody of Olive Garden commercial has mediocre Italian cuisine and loud, drunken families; a parody of Matchbox Twenty's "Unwell" centers on Kobe Bryant's rape case; Sean Gidcomb (McDonald) harasses "sneaky snakes" and gets in accidents; QVC hostesses (Vigman, Weir) insult plus-sized models; Don Cheadle plays a counselor who solves marital problems with a three-way; Mo Collins and Paul Vogt conduct red-carpet interviews at the Emmys.

Featuring: Daniele Gaither, Gillian Vigman

Wade Boggs (Barinholtz) promotes Oldsmobile cars; a parody of Celebrities Uncensored has paparazzi goad celebrities into beating them up for the cameras; Michael Jackson (Spears) gets his house and himself remade by the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy cast; Bill O'Reilly (McDonald) welcomes Gray Davis (McDonald) to The O'Reilly Factor; Freddy vs. Jason and Snuggle commercials merge into a parody; Stuart Larkin (McDonald) sees a therapist (Pederson); Tony Hawk guest stars in a sketch as the owner of a sports-themed restaurant; Leona Campbell (Weir) chats with the wife (Vigman) of a bungee jumping accident victim. Chingy performs "Right Thurr".

John Madden (Caliendo) offers to promote Vagisil; Angela (Weir) tries to submit a video to America's Funniest Home Videos; SuChin Pak (Lee) fears for her life when interviewing rapper and bullet magnet 50 Cent (Spears); a law agency helps out couples who fight; Jessica Alba plays Jessica Simpson in a parody of Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica; Chris Martin (McDonald) wreaks havoc while walking backwards in music video parody of Coldplay's "The Scientist"; two macho guys (Barinholtz, Meyers) question their sexuality during a football game; Clifford (Pederson) and Muriel (Weir) host the 7 A.M. Condo Report; parody of The Powerpuff Girls has starlets Tara Reid, Brittany Murphy, and Paris Hilton as superheroines; Ike Barinholtz and Aries Spears interview celebrities at the premiere for The Matrix Revolutions.

A music video parody of OutKast's "Hey Ya!" commemorates Mad TVs 200th episode; Nicole Sullivan reprises her role as The Vancome Lady; Kenny Rogers (Sasso) hosts his own variation of Punk'd; Artie Lange records a toast to Mad TV; Stuart Larkin (McDonald) buys new shoes; Judith (Sullivan) and Clyde (McDonald) make jokes about Dennis Rodman; Miss Swan (Borstein) gets her driver's license reinstated; Karen Goddard (Borstein) is reunited with her family after returning from space; Real Motherfucking Talk.

A parody of "Me Against the Music" has Britney Spears (Parker) on the run from a vampiric, desperate Madonna (Collins); Bae Sung (Lee) is a translator for a North Korean ambassador; Sean Gidcomb (McDonald) is thrown a surprise party; David Arquette plays one of the contestants on Wheel of Fortune; Lily Hubsher (Weir) pretends she's a werewolf; Trina (Collins) tries to get a dance partner at a costume ball; a terrorist (Barinholtz) becomes too well-adjusted to life in America to join his sleeper cell partner (Meyers) in destroying it; Ike Barinholtz and Ron Pederson interview celebrities at the premiere for The Cat in the Hat.

Featuring: Nicole Parker, Jordan Peele

To keep Everybody Loves Raymond going, Ray Barone's lesbian cousin (Caliendo) is now the star of the show; TRL premieres a video from profane rapper Emcee Escher (Spears); Connie Chung (Lee) interviews Paige Davis (Collins); during a football game, a Jumbotron marriage proposal goes awry; Tom Bergeron hosts a special edition of Hollywood Squares; a Dutch skateboarder (Meyers) shares drugs with his new roommate (Pederson); the Schenk family (Barinholtz, Collins) go at each other's throats during Thanksgiving dinner; Kathy Griffin invites Entertainment Tonight to her D-List Celebrity Thanksgiving Special, where she forces her parents to work on gift bags and sings "Shortenin' Bread" with David Hasselhoff (McDonald), Justin Guarini (Peele), and John Tesh (Meyers).

The anchors of Today dance to the music of P. Diddy (Spears) and Lenny Kravitz (Peele); Mofaz (McDonald) tells his troubles to another passenger (Parker); a mariachi band insults the patrons at a Mexican restaurant; Andy Rooney (Caliendo) gets censored during commentary on expression origins; Spishak promotes a deer zapper; Patrick McCallister (McDonald) makes fun of his Special Olympics competitors; the Lakers welcome their first gay basketball player (Peele) in order to combat news of sexual misconduct against female fans; Dr. Phil (McDonald) can't handle his guests' problems; Mo Collins and Aries Spears conduct interviews at the Vibe Awards.

The Lord of the Bling saga comes to an anticlimactic end; after a shopper (McDonald) gets hooked on Abercrombie & Fitch clothing, he becomes an employee; a news anchorman (Barinholtz) attempts to correct the frequent mistakes in his reports; The Lillian Verner Game Show; Wynonna Judd (Weir) makes an emergency call in a parody of OnStar commercials; Lorraine (Collins) calms down a wailing infant; John C. McGinley plays a disgruntled postal worker who goes on a murder spree, only to be shown up by other postal workers planning a rampage; Connie Chung (Lee) reports live from the baby shower of Kate Hudson (Vigman); Smash Mouth plugs a new commercial jingle on Access Hollywood.

A Christmas special with Elizabeth Smart (Parker); the Power-Slut Girls save Christmas so the media will focus on them; Michael Moore's (Vogt) newest documentary blames the Bush family for everything; Renée Zellweger (Parker) and couple Woody Allen (Pederson) and Soon-Yi Previn (Lee) announce their Christmas wishes; Suge Knight (Spears) promotes a court-ordered Christmas album; Marvin Tikvah (McDonald) entertains kids while dressed as Santa Claus; a teenage housesitter (Rue) becomes paranoid after watching a news report about a serial killer who goes after housesitters; the Schenk family continue their dysfunctional tirades during Christmas. Westside Connection perform "Gangsta Nation".

Chingy (Peele) raps about Michael Jackson's (Spears) child molestation charges; commercial parody of Sprint phones; Nicole Richie shares a hole with Saddam Hussein (McDonald) in a parody of The Simple Life; home movies reveal how dangerous three kids' childhoods were; Britney Spears (Parker) makes an emergency call from Las Vegas in another parody of OnStar; Dorothy Lanier (Weir) caters to the homeless; Celebrity Injustice host Renton Rice (Spears) fumes over the show's bellowing announcer (Vogt); a man (McDonald) begs his sick girlfriend (Weir) to have sex with him; a Snow White impersonator (Parker) and a black woman (Spears) audition to be Disney World's newest Snow White cast member.

Featuring: Nicole Parker, Melissa Paul, Jordan Peele, Gillian Vigman

John Madden (Caliendo) reviews the latest movies; Shannen Doherty (Paull) scares transvestite Andra (McDonald); Dr. Kylie Johnson (Weir) checks on a couple (Barinholtz, Paull) who are having problems conceiving a baby; Jeff Probst hosts a special celebrity edition of Survivor featuring Clay Aiken (Pederson), Meg Ryan (Sullivan), Jack Nicholson (Caliendo), 50 Cent (Spears), Dr. Phil (McDonald), and Connie Chung (Lee); a coach (Barinholtz) tries to explain his team's failure at a press conference; Michael Jackson (Spears) and Scott Peterson (McDonald) move into a ranch in a parody of The Simple Life.

Featuring: Melissa Paul, Gillian Vigman

A parody of Gilmore Girls is wrapped up in cuteness, pop culture references, and nonstop walking; Kobe Bryant (Spears) has thoughts of white co-eds hitting on him in Expedia.com commercial parody; Leona Campbell (Weir) expresses concern over Donald Trump's hairdo while watching The Apprentice; Kim Jong-Il (Lee) hosts his own talk show; Stuart Larkin (McDonald) and his mom (Collins) bother their next-door neighbor (Vogt); Aisha Tyler stars in a parody of blaxploitation films; Celine Dion (Parker) stars in a parody of car commercials. Ruben Studdard performs "What Is Sexy".

Featuring: Daniele Gaither, Keegan-Michael Key, Nicole Parker, Jordan Peele, Gillian Vigman

Abercrombie & Fitch employees don't like their new co-worker (Lee); Jovan Muskatelle (Key) reviews his generation of raving lunatics; The Lillian Verner Game Show; a vacation at Disneyland turns sinister; critics give reviews of Two and a Half Men; Snoop Dogg and Don "Magic" Juan appear on an episode of Real Motherfucking Talk; violent events are featured in an evening newscast; the Phillip Morris company underhandedly glorifies smoking; Patti LaBelle (Gaither) guest-stars in a sitcom with an overly-long opening sequence.

Featuring: Daniele Gaither, Keegan-Michael Key, Nicole Parker, Melissa Paul

Mike Tyson (Spears) tries to reclaim his money and his boxing championship with his "I'll Fight Anyone" tour; Jay Leno (Caliendo) shuffles through all his guests; Star Jones (Gaither) has trouble fitting into her shoes in a Payless commercial; Game Show Network presents an episode of The Price is Right from the 1970s; Anna Faris films a samurai movie with Bae Sung (Lee); Lorraine (Collins) and her relatives crash the campsite of another couple (McDonald, Weir); a business deal to save a sweater factory goes awry thanks to static electricity.

A woman (Weir) with commitment issues fails to impress her friends with Crest White Strips; Dot (Weir) competes in a spelling bee; Rusty Miller (McDonald) makes nice with Oscar-nominated celebrities; Bill O'Reilly joins Al Roker (Key) and Paula Zahn (Vigman) to decide who should become the next president; characters from Cold Mountain and The Lord of the Rings compete in a game of Family Feud; the Olsen twins get ready for the school dance while the perverted male staff waits for them to turn 18; a drug dealer (Key) incriminates himself in court with confessions of past crimes to prove that he didn't rob a bank.

Featuring: Daniele Gaither, Keegan-Michael Key, Nicole Parker, Jordan Peele, Gillian Vigman

Trojan promotes contraceptive patches for females; Wayne Brady (Spears) welcomes Celine Dion (Parker) to the last episode of his show; a parody of Cold Case; a passionate Mexican Taco Bell employee (Key) makes a scene and gets disciplined by his boss (Gaither); a wedding singer (Pederson) mispronounces the names of the guests at an Indian wedding; Jay Leno (Caliendo) tries to get wrong answers from WWE wrestlers on this installment of "Jay-Walking"; Kevin Smith plays a pirate for a kid's birthday party; Connie Chung (Lee) interviews the cast of Frasier.

Featuring: Daniele Gaither, Keegan-Michael Key, Nicole Parker, Jordan Peele, Gillian Vigman

A parody of The Wizard of Oz; Regis Philbin (Caliendo) revitalizes his show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire; Disney turns their It's A Small World ride into a horror movie; The 7 A.M. Condo Report; an urban parody of Crossing Over; an ABC schedule lineup spoof, a traveler (Barinholtz) must rely on Bae Sung (Lee) to claim his baggage; Bruce Banner (Barinholtz) transforms into a flamboyantly gay monster known as Gay Hulk (Vogt); JC Chasez is a guest on The Kim Jong-Il Show; Barbara Walters (Weir) tries new ventures beyond The View.

Featuring: Daniele Gaither, Nicole Parker

John Madden (Caliendo) recounts his wild spring break vacation; the announcer of a commercial (Meyers) claims that money is the cure for depression; Elisha Cuthbert finds herself in a parody of 24; Geert (Meyers) begins work at a sunglasses store; Vanessa L. Williams appears on another installment of QVC's Fashion Corner, where the hostesses make fun of middle-aged women; a villain (Peele) working as a supermarket clerk runs into his rival (Barinholtz).

Featuring: Daniele Gaither, Nicole Parker, Jordan Peele, Gillian Vigman

On Average Asian, Hideki (Lee) puts up with women who think Hideki adheres to Asian stereotypes; a movie trailer for a generic thriller stars Ashley Judd (Parker), Morgan Freeman (Peele), Laurence Fishburne (Key), and Samuel L. Jackson (Spears); a 1980s episode of The Price is Right featuring future notorious faces Martha Stewart (Weir), Tonya Harding (Parker), Jeffrey Dahmer (Meyers), and Wayne Brady (Spears); during a trial, Bae Sung (Lee) is called to the stand as a translator for the defendant; Cedric the Entertainer stars in another low-rent installment of Funkenstein; a therapist (McDonald) is baffled when his patients claim they see aliens.

Featuring: Daniele Gaither, Keegan-Michael Key, Nicole Parker, Jordan Peele, Gillian Vigman

On The Montel Williams Show, Angela Wright (Weir) shows a video clip of her attempt at saving a wheelchair-bound woman (Parker) from drowning; an alternate ending to The Wizard of Oz has an angry Dorothy (Parker) going off on Glenda the Good Witch (Weir); a chubby chaser (Weir) has her eyes on Marvin Tikvah (McDonald); stars of The O.C. appear in a parody co-starring former American Idol contestants Clay Aiken (Pederson), Justin Guarini (Peele), and William Hung (Lee); Sean Gidcomb (McDonald) insults his employees' kids that were brought to work; a chef (Vigman) on The Food Network has a mental breakdown after spending 22 hours cooking nothing but egg-related dishes.

Featuring: Keegan-Michael Key, Nicole Parker, Jordan Peele, Gillian Vigman

Whoopi Goldberg (Peele) promotes Slimfast products; Frankie Muniz stars as a hypochondriac who visits Dr. Kylie Johnson (Weir); Coach Hines (Key) threatens students at an assembly; The Lillian Verner Game Show; a wife (Weir) wants to know if her husband (Barinholtz) talks in his sleep about how ugly she is; Jennifer Coolidge stars in a sketch centered on a sexual harassment seminar; a drunk man's (McDonald) fantasy world is vastly different from his reality.

Featuring: Keegan-Michael Key, Nicole Parker, Jordan Peele

Parody of UPS commercials creates scatological innuendo from the word "brown"; Mofaz (McDonald) takes his daughter (Barinholtz) to her prom; Tom Bergeron hosts an episode of Hollywood Squares; a man (Meyers) tries to escape from his pet-loving wife (Collins); giant Dominic Sandy (McDonald) catches insults from customers while working at a restaurant; a man (Key) who's been shot in the head is forced to wait in a hospital waiting room; a promo for a sexual enhancement drug is advertised in metaphors; the Kappa Kappa Kappa sorority girls make over an ugly co-ed (Vogt); a reporter (Pederson) lands in hot water while interviewing a black man (Spears) about the death of his brother.

Abercrombie & Fitch employees help deliver a baby for a pregnant woman (Weir); the "Man-Up" Brothers (Peele, Key) break jinxes before a basketball game; Morgan Freeman (Peele) and other celebrities read Civil War-era letters; Stuart Larkin (McDonald) annoys his neighbor Harvey (Vogt) during a poker game; David Alan Grier and Fred Willard appear on an episode of Real Mother****ing Talk; The Game Show Network premieres an episode of The Price is Right set in prehistoric times; Dr. Funkenstein (Key) and his monster (Peele) team up with the Invisible Man (Spears).

Featuring: Daniele Gaither, Keegan-Michael Key, Nicole Parker, Jordan Peele