The Giggity Wife

When Peter discovers Joe has a student ID he took from a kid that gave him lip, Peter, Quagmire and Joe visit the Harvard University campus for lunch and have a wild night on the town. A drunken Quagmire accidentally marries an elderly prostitute named Charmese, who refuses to let go of their relationship and Quagmire starts to consider a divorce until Joe points out that he could lose everything. Quagmire tries to make the best of it but Charmese can't pull herself far enough out of the gutter for his tastes.

When Quagmire is reluctant to pursue their relationship, Charmese questions if he's homosexual and when she says the marriage would be over if true, Quagmire pretends to be homosexual. After catching Quagmire watching straight pornography, Charmese calls off the divorce unless Quagmire can prove he's homosexual by having sex with a man. Quagmire approaches Peter with the idea. Peter agrees but insists they have a date first, through which Quagmire suffers. Back at Quagmire's house, Charmese insists they have sex and the men clumsily, reluctantly prepare. Just as they are about to have sex, Charmese calls off the charade, noting that they're clearly heterosexual but if Quagmire wants a divorce that badly, she'll grant him one. She then says that he treats her better than any other guy she's met, and doesn't want to feel like she's burdening her marriage partner. After Charmese leaves, a nearly nude Peter and Quagmire embrace in relief as Peter suddenly noted the camera on Quagmire's laptop is on. The scene then cuts to the Griffin home, with the family watching in horror while Stewie comes in and asks if they're watching Glee.

The episode received a 2.9 rating and was watched by a total of 5.63 million people, this made it the most watched show on Animation Domination that night beating The Cleveland Show, Bob's Burgers, American Dad! and The Simpsons.[2] The episode was met with mixed reviews from critics. Kevin McFarland of The A.V. Club gave the episode a C–, saying "It’s not necessary for Family Guy to have complete continuity, but when Peter actually becoming gay for an episode and leaving his wife is less distressing to his family than this ending, something is out of balance. This is yet another episode show that handles boundary-pushing material with tired, derivative clichés instead of reaching for something original and funny."[3] Carter Dotson of TV Fanatic gave the episode two out of five stars, saying "The biggest laugh of the night came via a cutaway, where Peter as a Mexican soap opera star slapped three women and flew away in a giant sombrero. It made no sense and left me feeling terrible for myself that I laughed at it. But it was still better than most everything else tonight. Oh, and there was the irony of the band Chicago playing during a scene that took place in Boston. Hah. I don’t expect this show to be intelligent humor, but I do want to walk out of it without that kind of icky feeling that makes me regret having ever watched it in the first place."[4]

• "The Giggity Wife" at IMDb
• "The Giggity Wife" at TV.com