A Crow Looked at Me

Elverum and Castrée performing together in 2006.

Phil Elverum's wife, the Canadian cartoonist and musician Geneviève Castrée, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2015, four months after the birth of their first child. She died at their home in Anacortes, Washington, on July 9, 2016.[1] After her death, Elverum considered retiring from music to become a full-time father, but a visit to Haida Gwaii inspired him to write notes that, along with those he had written during her illness and treatment, would become the lyrical basis for A Crow Looked at Me.[2]

Inspired by Gary Snyder's poem "Go Now", Elverum realized that he did not have to find meaning in Castrée's dying and could write songs that bluntly described his experience of her illness and death.[3] He took further inspiration from the works of Canadian singer-songwriter Julie Doiron, American poet Joanne Kyger, American rock band Sun Kil Moon, and Norwegian author Karl Ove Knausgård.[4] His working title for the album was Death is Real.[5] Elverum changed the title to A Crow Looked at Me to represent the "uncomfortable feeling of applying significance to insignificant things".[5][6]

Elverum recorded the album between August 31 and December 6, 2016, at his house in Anacortes, Washington.[7] He also wrote the songs at this time.[8] Elverum recorded the music at the studio in the house where she died. He had earlier abandoned the room, opened its window and allowed nature to take it over. Elverum credits the album's "immediacy" and "bluntness" to his recording it in Castrée's room,[9] and in an interview with KUOW, he stated that he wanted the room to have positive associations for him and to not be defined by Castrée's final days.[10] He used an acoustic guitar, one microphone, and some of Castrée's instruments to make the album.[11] The choice of Castrée's instruments was mostly one of convenience, with little symbolic significance.[12] The album was recorded onto a laptop computer, making A Crow Looked at Me his first album to be produced entirely in this way.[13]

He recorded the songs at night while his daughter was asleep or during times when she was visiting friends.[8] He described his writing process as writing lyrics on paper, and then practicing them rigorously until he knew each chord sequence—a first for him.[15] According to Elverum, the songs "poured out quickly in the fall, [as he] watch[ed] the days grey over". He has said that most of his initial songwriting notes took the form of a "formless, no-rhythm, no-meter, no-melody blob of words".[16] This process was a result of habit, "just doing what I usually do. Which [is] to distill all the mass of words in my head into something a little more poetic and musical".[17] Elverum intended the songs to have a "hyper-intimate" and unrestrained quality, and to be philosophical but devoid of metaphor, which he felt would be "cowardly and pointless".[18] The album's cover features a photograph of a piece of paper with the poem "Night Palace" by Castrée's close friend Joanne Kyger printed on it. Castrée had pinned the paper above her desk.[19] Kyger died two days before the album's release.[20]

Elverum has stated that he felt compelled to make the album because he found that art he once had treasured, such as poetry and philosophy, was ineffective in helping him cope with Castrée's illness.[21] While writing the album, Elverum was unsure that anyone except himself would ever hear it, and he had no goal in mind.[22] He completed and released the record to "[open] up all the way", to make the intensity of his love for Castrée known, and to draw a distinction between art and the "experience of life".[23] Elverum has said the style of songwriting he used was the only kind that felt "appropriate" and "real" to him.[24] Elverum found the album's creation to be "therapeutic" and felt that he was "hanging out" with Castrée during its production; by the end of the process, Elverum claims he had healed.[25] Nonetheless, in an interview a year after the album's creation, he expressed disbelief that he had been able to make an album under the circumstances.[26]

The lyrics are delivered in a speaking-singing, literal poetic manner, and contain a sense of mysticism.[28] Their main themes are Castrée's illness and death as well as Elverum's grief.[29] Ideas of impermanence, emptiness, disorientation, and the absurdity of performing intimate material in public are also present.[30] Paste's Matt Fink suggested that although Elverum's repertoire of songs about mortality is perhaps second only to those about nature, A Crow Looked at Me "marks the first time he has written about death".[31]

The work's exploration of death has been compared to the Antlers' Hospice, David Bowie's Blackstar and Sufjan Stevens's Carrie & Lowell, although, as highlighted by writer Isabel Zacharias, A Crow Looked at Me focuses more on the grieving process and its mundane aspects than these albums do.[32] Many of the lyrics reference nature.[33] One reviewer said that "tragedy hasn't stopped [Elverum] from noticing the world; if anything, it seems to have pried his eyes open for good".[34] Unlike in his past works, he forgoes his "general focus on nature's 'raw impermanence'".[35] Throughout, Elverum returns to motifs such as his house—in particular, the room where Castrée died—and the minutiae of his life.[36]

The words take the form of a diary; Elverum intended each song to reflect specific periods during his grieving process, and the lyrics refer to actual events and dates. He has said that each track is "anchored to a very specific moment".[12] Thomas Britt of PopMatters highlighted this element, writing that the approach made real the impact of death on continuing, everyday life.[33] The songs, with the exception of the closer "Crow"—which is addressed to the couple's daughter, whose role in the album's story is almost that of a second protagonist—refer to Castrée, although she is never directly named.[37] The lyrics frequently use pronouns such as "our" when referring to Castrée.[38] Elverum has said that he does not view the album as a tribute to Castrée or as being about her. He believes that a tribute would be ineffective at capturing who Castrée was. He views the album as a frank documentation of his grief, with no concern for listeners' reactions or feelings.[39] At times, dark humor is used.[40] According to The New Yorker's Peter Baker, the album's lyrics combine "emotional intimacy and tonal frankness to a degree rarely heard in contemporary music".[41] The Guardian's Brigid Delaney wrote that the album is comparable more to "a traditional lament" than to popular pieces of music about death such as Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven or Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds' Skeleton Tree.[42] The New York Times's Jon Caramanica wrote that "songwriting seems almost too precise a term" because "the line is blurred between singing, speaking and raw emotional data dump".[43]

The album's music is reminiscent of Elverum's 2008 albums Dawn and Lost Wisdom;[44] its songs avoid standard musical structures and have sparse instrumentation—individual instruments enter and leave at unpredictable times—a drum machine producing a hiss-like sound, acoustic guitar, chord changes, an absence of choruses, unorthodox verse structure, and very few melodies.[45] The songs are short—lasting on average less than four minutes—and typically end abruptly, avoiding codas and fade outs.[46] They also include unresolved notes and chords; the ending of "Seaweed", for example, hangs on a half-step descent.[47] The simplicity of the songs reflects Elverum's wish to move away from his earlier, more "artistically challenging" work, which is characterized by "harsh tones" and "complicated chords".[48] Jayson Greene of Pitchfork explained the contrast to Elverum's earlier work as similar to "the difference between charting a voyage around the earth and undertaking it".[49] Elverum has himself described A Crow Looked at Me as "barely music".[34]

Tracks 1–7

Pictured: Haida Gwaii, which inspired Elverum to begin the album and is where he spread Castrée's ashes. The archipelago is referenced in "Seaweed".

The lyrics of the opening track "Real Death" describe Elverum's shock in the weeks after Castrée's death.[51] He sings accompanied by piano, electric guitar, accordion and drums.[52] The opening words, "Death is Real", reappear throughout the record.[53] The lyrics set out that the album is not intended as an artistic statement about death: "it's not for singing about / It's not for making into art". Elverum has said that although the album is art, the line is about "the difference between the idea of a thing and the actual lived experience of it", and that this line is an example of him "joking around".[54]

In "Seaweed", Elverum describes the scattering of Castrée's ashes, his trip to Haida Gwaii with their daughter a month after Castrée's death, and his fear of forgetting the small details of Castrée's life.[55] "Ravens", which is accompanied by multi-tracked guitar, piano chords and percussion,[56] describes Castrée's last living days and the moments after.[57] Elverum has expressed regret over repeatedly describing and singing about her final days.[58]

"Forest Fire" explores themes of death, decay, and the seeming absurdity of life.[59] He also mentions his daily duties, as well as the nearby refineries that were a common motif in Castrée's art.[60] The fire represents a sort of "cleansing", but it is unclear what is being made pure.[61] In the song, he writes that he "rejects nature"; he has said that the line is both an acknowledgement of the natural process of death and a protest against it, rather than outright rejection.[15] "Swims" details his experience of grief counseling and the sudden death of his counselor;[44] his vocals are accompanied by a minimal guitar line and simple piano chords.[44]

"My Chasm" describes Elverum's isolation from his friends and difficulty in talking about his loss in public.[59] It was inspired by a dinner at a friend's house.[5] "When I Take the Garbage Out At Night" invokes everyday, mundane imagery; one writer compared it to Sun Kil Moon's album Benji.[62] In the lyrics, Elverum reconnects with the universe, accepting that Castrée must live somewhere within it.[63]

Tracks 8–11

Soria Moria, the painting that mentioned on the song of the same name

"Emptiness pt. 2" explores the idea of "conceptual emptiness".[49] During the track, Elverum sings "Your absence is a scream", with the word "scream" drawn out, a raw moment that Greene compared to self-harm.[8] Britt wrote that its introspection makes previous dark, brooding moods in Elverum's work seem enjoyable by comparison.[33] Elverum examines the way objects such as toothbrushes, trash cans, and photographs are taking Castrée's place in "Toothbrush/Trash".[64] The track includes the sound of a door suddenly closing, recorded using a drum kit.[49]

"Soria Moria" references the eponymous painting by Theodor Kittelsen, and incorporates elements of black metal.[65] The lyrics of "Soria Moria" discusses Elverum's and his daughter's moving on with their lives.[17] "Soria Moria" is the only song to have anything that resembles a refrain. Musically, it is reminiscent of his 2009 album Wind's Poem.[44] Britt described the song and its use of natural imagery as "one of the most vivid illustrations of Walter Benjamin's concept of 'aura'".[33][lower-alpha 2] A live version of the song was used as the lead single for Elverum's 2018 live album, (after).[67]

The final song, "Crow", is addressed to Elverum's daughter and recounts their hiking trip in the Pacific Northwest when they were followed by a bird that seems to personify Castrée.[68] He also mentions events outside their family life, and referring to the 2016 United States presidential election, describes the world as "[s]moldering and fascist".[15] The album's thematic throughlines are concluded in the closing lyrics: "And there she was".[69]

The Business, a record shop which Elverum performed at in support of A Crow Looked at Me.

Elverum considered not releasing the album.[12] He had originally planned a small-scale release on his website, but as the album took shape, he wanted it to reach a wider audience,[70] although he viewed it as "gross and weird from a lot of perspectives".[12] On January 6, 2017, he announced that he would tour and release the new album.[71] The next day, he played his first concert since September 2014, at the Business, a record store in Anacortes, Washington.[72] He played the album in its entirety during the concert's 45 minutes.[38] Due to significant interest and the venue's small capacity of just 50 people, Elverum asked for limited attendance.[73] He performed in a corner of the room with his eyes closed and left immediately afterwards.[74] The performance was noticeably sparse; Elverum did not use amplification, and played only his acoustic guitar. Music critic Eric Grandy described the performance as "heavy and awkward and weird" yet "supportive and cathartic and necessary", taking into account the crowd's emotional reaction to the material.[72]

"Crow", the first track to be released, appeared on the charity album Is There Another Language? on January 20, 2017.[71] The opening single, "Real Death", was released on SoundCloud on January 25, 2017;[4] the second single, "Ravens", was released on February 15, 2017, with a music video uploaded to Mount Eerie's official YouTube account. The video consists of camcorder recordings of Elverum and Castrée.[75] Both singles were listed by Stereogum as the best song of the week and included on Pitchfork's lists of the best songs of the month.[76][77] Elverum did several interviews, which he found to be "mentally draining"; he treated them as pseudo-therapy sessions, different from a typical public relations campaign.[58][lower-alpha 3]

Live performances

Interior of the Jacobikerk church in the Netherlands

In April 2017, he undertook a brief, solo acoustic tour of North America, followed by another in September 2017. They were held in small venues, such as concert halls, churches and theaters.[78] Elverum omitted some album tracks as he found them too emotional to play live.[79] He also played a number of then-unreleased songs, including the title track from his following album, Now Only.[80] That September, Elverum performed "Ravens", "When I Take Out The Garbage At Night" and "Soria Moria" in the New York office of Stereogum.[81] The tour was extended to include Europe in November 2017.[82] While Elverum was performing at the Jacobikerk church as part of Le Guess Who? festival in Utrecht, a sound engineer unofficially recorded the set. Elverum liked the recording so much that he released it in 2018 as the live album (after).[83]

The April and September-to-November tours were well received, with critics writing positively of the intimate settings. Positive reviews were published in The Independent,[84] the Evening Standard,[85] Now Toronto,[86] and Exclaim!.[87] Pitchfork writer Quinn Moreland named the concert at Christ Church Cathedral as her favorite of 2017, describing it as "a wake—a spiritual sensation that was amplified by the venue, a temple".[88] The performance at Chicago's Thalia Hall was recommended by Chicago magazine.[89] Elverum's Le Guess Who? performance was selected as one of the best by Consequence of Sound.[90] NPR selected the concert at Hollywood Forever Cemetery as an "essential" gig from the first half of 2017.[91]

Elverum was at first hesitant to play the songs live, and had nightmares about performing them, but found confidence following the reactions from his friends and family.[92] He felt that the personal nature of the songs made performing them on tour difficult, particularly when he played for people who knew Castrée.[48] The singer would typically perform in a detached, vulnerable manner and on occasion apologize for being visibly emotional.[93] He viewed the events as "re-enacting a trauma and charging people money for it" and criticized the sense of voyeurism the audience partook in, although he said that audiences helped him overcome his fear of performing. He admitted that he would probably watch a similar performance by another artist, saying "it's hard to look away from a car accident".[94]

Professional ratings

Aggregate scores
Source	Rating
AnyDecentMusic?	8.8/10[95]
Metacritic	93/100[96]
Review scores
Source	Rating
AllMusic	[97]
The A.V. Club	A−[47]
Consequence of Sound	A−[61]
Exclaim!	9/10[98]
Mojo	[99]
Paste	9.2/10[31]
Pitchfork	9.0/10[34]
PopMatters	10/10[33]
Uncut	9/10[100]
Vice (Expert Witness)	A[101]

A Crow Looked at Me received widespread critical acclaim, with Elverum receiving more attention from reviewers than before and earning some of the best reviews of his career.[102] It was one of the most critically acclaimed albums of 2017 and Elverum's best-selling album.[103] Elverum found the fact that the album was so well received as "reaffirming" but "strange and absurd"; he was frustrated by those who viewed it as a tribute to Castrée and felt uneasy about the album being public at all, once commenting: "Isn't that fucked up? I scream, 'Death is real,' and you clap".[104]

Many reviewers were impressed by the album's direct sentiment and emotional lyrics. Critic Zack Fenech complimented the album's ability to make listeners "reflect on their own relationships and mortality",[98] Tom Breihan of Stereogum ended his reviews by praising the impact and influence the album had on him.[105] Spencer Kornhaber of The Spinoff saw the album's appeal as being that it allows listeners to express and articulate grief.[106] One critic noted that the album was widely praised and "identified with" because of the perceived presence of grief in the late 2010s.[107]

The album's instrumentation, production and aesthetic were subject to mixed reception. Fenech felt that it "[translated] and [captured] feelings words simply can't".[98] Fink applauded the lo-fi nature.[31] Marvin Lin from Tiny Mix Tapes and Michael Hann, in a review published by The Guardian, gave ambivalent opinions; Hann said the style was "functional" and "sufficiently mannered that it's not really a question of whether it's good or not".[108]

Some reviewers echoed Elverum's opinion that its sparse instrumentation barely constituted music,[34] while critic Jon Caramanica observed how the songs' intensity almost defied the label of art.[43] Breihan thought that the album rejected conventional standards of music, a theme commonly found through many reviews.[109] A few critics found it a difficult album to review.[110] Jochan Embley of The Independent said that it was strange to praise an album that earnestly details someone's grieving process, [80] while Lin scored the album but said that his rating meant "absolutely nothing".[111]

The album has been described as "career-defining", "historic", and "one of the most remarkable folk albums ever produced".[131] Ben Hansen of Happy Mag and Thomas Britt of PopMatters consider it as the peak of the Mount Eerie project and of "Elverum's longtime preoccupations ... with nature and death".[132] According to Max Savage Levenson of Bandcamp Daily, by the end of 2017, the album had been recognized as a "milestone" in Elverum's career.[133] Frank Falisi of Tiny Mix Tapes cited it as one of the albums of the 2010s that "[redefined] the understanding of popular music".[134] Both The Guardian's John Robinson and Craig Jenkins of Vulture highlighted it as an example of a new personal style of songwriting.[135]

Brown in 2017

Zauner in 2017

American rapper Danny Brown chose A Crow Looked at Me as his favorite album of 2017, while Michelle Zauner cited it as an album that changed her life.

Fellow artists have praised A Crow Looked at Me. American rapper Danny Brown called the album his favorite of 2017.[136] Michelle Zauner of Japanese Breakfast chose it as one of the five albums that changed her life and said that it helped her cope with the death of her mother.[137] Gilles Demolder of the black metal band Oathbreaker has expressed admiration for the album, looking to it for inspiration and crediting it with helping him see that "acoustic guitar and words can be so much heavier than anything I've heard before".[138]

After finishing the album, Elverum did not feel he had fully described his grief process, and so explored similar themes on his following studio album, Now Only (2018).[17] Now Only and Lost Wisdom Pt. 2 (2019) serve as continuations of A Crow Looked at Me. Now Only, which Elverum described as "part two", mentions A Crow Looked at Me's success. The three albums form a trilogy that centers on the birth of Elverum's daughter and the death of Castrée.[139] Commenting on A Crow Looked at Me and its "raw moments" nearly a year later, Elverum stated that he could no longer relate to the emotions and grief he expressed on the album.[48] He also said that the album helped him realize "that everyone is much kinder and more mature than I expected" and that "opening up about this stuff improved my feeling about being alive".[106]

All tracks are written and produced by Phil Elverum.[140]

Credits adapted from the album's liner notes and Cult MTL.[141]

• Phil Elverum – songwriting, vocals, production, acoustic and electric guitar, drum machine, bass guitar, piano, accordion
• John Golden – mastering
• Joanne Kyger – poem

• A Crow Looked at Me at Discogs (list of releases)