Domestic violence in lesbian relationships

Literature and research regarding domestic violence in lesbian relationships is relatively limited, especially in the United States, United Kingdom, and Australia. Many different factors play into this, such as "different definitions of domestic violence, non-random, self selected and opportunistic sampling methods (often organisation or agency based, or advertising for participants who have experienced violence) and different methods and types of data collected".[11] This causes results to be unreliable, thus making it difficult to make general assumptions about the rates of lesbian domestic violence. This has caused rates of violence in lesbian relationships to range from 17 to 73 percent as of the 1990s, being too large of a scale to accurately determine the pervasiveness of lesbian abuse in the community.[11]

Since not all lesbians are open about their sexuality, large random samples are difficult to obtain and therefore are unable to show trends in the general lesbian community.[11] Research samples tend to be smaller, causing report rates of violence to be lower than they may be. This is "a consequence of the invisibility of such violence and fear of homophobic reactions".[11]

Theoretical analysis of domestic violence in lesbian relationships is heavily debated. Popular approaches mainly discuss "the comparability of violence in lesbian and gay male relationships (same sex violence,) or draw on feminist theories of gendered power relations, comparing domestic violence between lesbians and heterosexual women".[11] Some theorists also study same sex violence by defining gender as anatomy, and claim that gender is not relevant in any case of domestic violence due to its prevalence in same-sex relationships that is perpetrated as a form of homophobic behavior and occurs without consequence.[11] Other theorists argue that gay men and lesbians still internalize feminine and masculine behaviors, causing lesbians to "mimic traditional heterosexual relationships" and create blatant power dynamics between dominant and submissive partners.[11]

Factors that contribute to domestic violence include the belief that abuse (physical or verbal) is acceptable, substance abuse, unemployment, mental health problems, lack of coping skills, isolation, and excessive dependence on the abuser.[14] Factors specific to lesbian relationships such as emotional isolation and lack of community ties due to heterosexism and homophobia, minority stress, and the re-victimization of women who have previously suffered abuse also provoke the causes of domestic violence in lesbian relationships.[4] The political context of homophobia and heterosexism is essential for understanding the experience of lesbian victims of domestic violence. Also homophobia is an important factor in shaping the experience of domestic violence in lesbian relationships.[1] For instance, mental health agencies still contain homophobic and heterosexual beliefs which limit the extent of the services provided to the victims.[10] These victims experience violence within the context of a world that is not only misogynistic but is also homophobic.[1]

Lesbian couples frequently experience social stigma against them, including experiences of discrimination and bias against them, as well as other minority stress factors which can include the fear of outing, internalized homophobia, the butch/femme identity, and relationship quality.[15]

A perpetrator may use her partner's internalized homophobia to justify her own violence. This may cause a general distaste or negative conception of the lesbian identity, both of oneself and others. This behavior is described as horizontal hostility, or minority groups becoming hostile or violent toward each other.[16] This stems from both finding it easier to direct hatred toward other oppressed groups and internalized homophobia and misogyny. In the case of domestic violence in lesbian relationships, this hostility is perpetuated in the form of intimate partner abuse.[16]

In some cases, the lesbian community can dismiss cases of domestic violence in lesbian relationships or shame victims of domestic violence.[17] This contributes to low self-esteem, feelings of powerlessness, denial of group membership, and difficulty being in committed and trusting relationships. These negative feelings are then acted out in the form of lesbian battering. Also women fear that they might suffer from isolation, risk of losing their job, housing or family as consequences to homophobia and internalized homophobia.[1] A woman who abuses her female partner can use homophobic control as a method of psychological abuse, which further isolates the victim.[4] For example, an abuser may out her partner without permission by revealing her sexual orientation to others, including relatives, employers, and landlords, and in child custody cases. This form of abuse could result in a variety of negative consequences for the victim, such as being shunned by family members and the loss of children, a job, and housing. In fearing isolation due to homophobia, lesbians also experience the phenomenon of living in the "second closet", or that they must keep both their sexualities and experiences with domestic violence hidden from others due to fear of negative repercussions.[17] These homophobic roots also integrate themselves into how lesbians raise their children.[18]

Many lesbians who are either battered or batter have had experience with domestic violence and sexual assault, often familial or as a child, including beatings, incest, molestation, and verbal abuse.[18] In growing up in living situations where violence is "normalized", the partner often does not label the problem or recognize that the violence within the relationship is an issue. This can also translate into how the couple raise potential children and implement discipline.[18]

Domestic violence in lesbian relationships happens for many reasons. Domestic violence can occur due to control. Violence is most frequently employed as a tactic for achieving interpersonal power or control over their partner.[5] Also perceived loss of power or control may also lead to increased violence within the relationship. The alienation and isolation imposed by internalized and external oppression may construct loss of control, and the need to reclaim it becomes the central concern for lesbians. Lesbians may be denied control over numerous aspects of their lives.[17] However, if she remains in the closet, she is also denied control, subjected to continuous self-monitoring, and forced to deal with stress so that she could hide her identity and her intimate relationship from the eyes of others. The perpetrator of violence in an intimate relationship can also threaten their partner to abduct their children if only one has legal custody of their children.[17] On the contrary, there have also been cases of lesbians and lesbian couples that become guardian ad litems and households that have been licensed to provide temporary foster care for children that are vulnerable to domestic violence.[17] Power and control take advantage the most intimate parts of lesbian relationships, including sex life and the individual agency of the victim in the relationship.[17]

Another reason why domestic violence can occur is dependency.[5] The need to achieve balance between separateness and connection has been identified as the primary task in relationships, and is a specifically frequent problem in lesbian relationships.[13] The degree of dependence on a relationship and on one's intimate partner causes abuse. Lesbians who report more frequent use of violent tactics in conflict with their partner will report a higher level of dependency as a personality trait.

Dependency in lesbian relationships is also a result of female-specific socialization.[13] Since women have been socialized for "togetherness" and cooperative living, women often struggle with balancing social life and being alone. A study found that lesbians are more likely to spend free time at home than homosexual men are.[13] In lesbian relationships, women often find it difficult to spend time apart because they feel pressured to take care of one another. Women may assume that spending time away from their partner would make them upset or angry. Without proper communication, improper management of time may lead to unhealthy discourse within a relationship, and partner equality remains difficult to maintain.[13]

Self-esteem is another underlying factor of domestic abuse. Low self-esteem and a negative self-image are qualities that characterize both perpetrators and victims of heterosexual domestic violence. The jealousy and the possessiveness that are frequently linked to battering behavior are associated with problems of low self-esteem and negative self-concept. Lesbians who report more frequent use of violent tactics in conflicts with their partners will report a lower level of self-esteem as a personality trait.[5]